Seeing Double

Duet With Myself - Part 3

Paulina was in the kitchen with her mom when Phantom got there. They were making enchiladas or something. He knew he couldn't approach her until she was alone, but it felt wrong to hang around watching her like this. So he almost left.

But it was Paulina. He hadn't spoken to her since... Actually, when was the last time he'd spoken to her before today? He couldn't pin it down.

They had gym together once. Second semester, seventh grade. Stoked by the opportunity, he tried to get her attention by doing the most jumping jacks. None of the jocks were in the class, they had an entirely separate gym period for sports (and cheerleading wasn't considered a sport, what luck!) so he was actually able to hold his own for once.

Sam wasn't in the class either. He'd been so relieved by that. In retrospect Phantom felt guilty. But why feel guilty over a small little thing like that? The only reason he had been happy about it had nothing to do with Sam herself. It's just that she would have creamed him. She had amazing stamina.

As Paulina and her family sat down for dinner Phantom groaned to himself, remembering his pathetic attempt to impress her. Sure, he'd done the most jumping jacks. Whoop dee freaking do. But when he was done he couldn't breath. Let alone talk to her.

Still, it was better to cringe at old memories than to eavesdrop on the Sanchez family, right? He decided to loiter in her room to get away from them.

But it felt weird being in a girls room without permission. Like the time he'd floated into the girls locker room. He felt bad about it, he did! But he couldn't resist going in at least once.

As soon as they'd started undressing he had closed his eyes. But he stuck around and listened. Just being in the room was enough to excite him, not that he could-

Get your mind out of the gutter, Fenton! Phantom thought. Then he sighed, noticing the thin layer of frost on Paulina's window and full length mirror.

Not good. Calm down. Or actually, this was probably a sign. Time to leave, right?

But then Paulina walked into the room. She turned on the light and immediately saw her breath. Then she looked around, eager as a little girl on Christmas morning, and called out to him. The fact that she remembered his name Phantom, Phantom, Phantom. Well, that made it impossible to leave.

And though he could not blush, Phantom felt himself thaw. The frost melted and he watched it drip down the mirror.

When he cast off his invisibility she gasped and sprang forward, hugging him.

He immediately disappeared again, but she just giggled and said, "I've still got you!"

Though he could have easily escaped with intangibility, he didn't. Instead he put his arms around her and tried not to melt into a goop of ectoplasm at her feet.

"Are you shy?" Paulina said. "You're such a cutie, can't I see your face?"

"Uh, I'm working on it," Phantom said. "S-sometimes it's hard to control."

His feet weren't touching the ground and he liked the way it made him seem so much taller than her. But then Paulina walked towards her bed and he realized she was practically carrying him.

Then he was under her.

It was similar to that time with Sam. Yet the way Paulina smirked, sexy and confident, was entirely different. She was like a predator.

And Phantom was what? Dessert?

Good thing he didn't need to breath.

"I want to see you," Paulina whispered. She ran a hand up his stomach, past his chest, and paused against his collarbone. "You're so cold."

"That's kind of a natural side effect to, uh, death."

"I bet I could warm you up," Paulina said. "If you'll let me."

"I know for a fact that I'd let you do whatever you want to do," Phantom said. "Hell, I'd let you kill me again, if you wanted to."

In his head it had seemed like a cool line. But out loud it was morbid, wasn't it? And pathetic.

He didn't want to see the disgust on her face. Phantom closed his eyes.

Paulina's hand was still on his collarbone. It shifted up to rest against his neck. Her other hand fumbled on the bed until it landed on his leg. She let it slowly travel up his body until it also reached his neck.

He gasped when she gave a squeeze. But she wasn't trying to choke him.

Right?

She lightened her hold and he felt her lips replace her hands. Felt her weight when she decided to actually sit on top of him. Before she'd just been hovering.

"Don't you want to touch me?" she said.

He kept his eyes closed. "No," he said. As he said it Phantom realized that touching her was the one thing he did not want to do. He was certain of it, but he couldn't figure out why.

Because he was afraid of ruining things the way he had with Sam?

He was already invisible. And Paulina had accepted that.. So what could go wrong? Phantom thought of himself in gym class, panting so badly he thought he would hyperventilate. He thought he would puke, or faint, or die right there.

None of those things were possible anymore.

When he felt her hands on his cheeks Phantom finally opened his eyes, simultaneously deactivating his invisibility. It was the first time he'd done so without meaning to.

Paulina was still wearing goth makeup. It was a sign of her feelings, he thought as she smiled down at him. Phantom knew enough about girls to recognize the bid for his attention. Should he tell her it was unnecessary? Maybe she could go wash her face.

"There you are," she said.

"H-hi." It wasn't possible to play things cool. Not with Paulina. Not with anyone. He just wasn't a cool guy. But he didn't feel ashamed, this time.

He kissed her.

Paulina blinked. The look on her face said, that's it?

Aaaand he disappeared again.

Was it because it was too fast? Too small? Phantom didn't know enough about kissing to be doing this. He knew there were different kinds. A french kiss is with tongue. A normal kiss is with your mouth closed. But for longer. What had he done? A peck?

"Wait," Paulina said. "I didn't mean to-"

Phantom lost his hold on corporeal form and Paulina dropped down into the bed with a surprised little squeak.

Just. Like. With. Sam.

"Phantom wait," she said.

But he didn't wait. He flew away. Like a coward.

He flew to Casper High and paced around. He kicked over a trash can. He set up beakers in a line in the cafeteria and shot them all to pieces with ecto blasts.

When he told Tucker he only remembered middle school it wasn't strictly a lie. Phantom had barely started high school when he'd died. He had attended Casper High for two and a half weeks. Then the accident had happened.

So the school had become a nice place for him to loiter. It didn't have the weight of memories, but it also didn't feel like a place he Should Not Be. He'd tried to explain that feeling to Fenton once. Phantom had wandered into the post office that day, because he was bored, and he'd felt uncomfortable. More than uncomfortable, he'd felt repelled. The post office was a place he'd never have gone while alive.

Visiting his middle school was too depressing, but Casper High was just right. Especially today. He found the box ghost messing around in the basement. They tussled.

He might have spent days beating the other ghost up if Fenton hadn't called when he did.