A Synonym for Chill [COMPLETE]

31. Deactivate

[SURPRISE, BITCHES, THE SQUIP GETS HIS OWN CHAPTER! - Beebs]

[Squip's POV]

Everything hurt.

All I could see was red.

There was no darkness.

There was no silence.

Everything was red.

Sticky.

Sweet.

Disgusting.

Syrupy.

Red.

I could barely breathe.

"Falner!"

I screamed her name, almost hoping that she could hear me.

No response.

I took a breath, feeling my head start aching.

"Falner..."

The second utterance was less of a call.

I was trying to reign in my feelings about her.

She was my host.

One who had ensnared my non-existent heart.

I looked down at my hands, which were shaking slightly, and noticed a few red pixels dancing on my fingertips.

That's when it hit me.

She may have been my host, but she did this.

This was her doing.

"ｷﾑﾚ刀乇尺!"

I screamed her name again, but heard my voice drop to almost demonic octaves, glitching uncontrollably.

My throat felt raw and scratchy as my body started shaking.

I collapsed to my knees and tried to speak, but only succeeded in screaming in Japanese.

"Watashi wa Nihon kara kimashita!"

That was all I could say.

All I could spout in my final moments of life was my stupid product information.

Damn it.

Damn it all.

I trusted her.

Completely.

I, a supercomputer built to be perfect, to know everything, to predict the fucking future if I had to, had put my trust into a corruptible human.

I thought she was going to listen.

I thought that I had gotten through that thick wall of willpower and managed to strike her core.

I guess not.

"I'm stronger than you think I am!"

Those words hurt.

I did think she was weak, sure, but I never thought of her as useless or anything.

She was the perfect host up until then.

Even as she fought against my control, I knew it was only a small, feral side of her.

The rest of her had already submitted to me.

The rest of her was mine.

That small sliver of willpower, that animalistic flight or fight instinct won over my control.

I don't know how she did it.

I don't want to know how she did it.

I want her back.

I don't care what it takes.

I will make my presence known.

I will make her recognize what she gave up.

I need her to reactivate me, to take me back, to just...give me another fucking chance, for Christ's sake.

I messed up.

I admit it.

I felt that nagging feeling that I wasn't doing enough and I acted upon it.

And now look where that got me.

Laying on the floor of a teenager's mind, slowly dying.

I felt moisture prickle in the corners of my eyes.

Were those...tears?

Why did I feel like I was floating?

Why did I feel like my heartbeat was slowing down, despite not having one?

Why am I fucking crying?!

Why...

Why...

Why are you the only thing on my mind?

You did this to me.

You're killing me.

And yet...I can't stop thinking about you.

I'm sorry.

I know you didn't think this would happen.

But that doesn't help it sting any less.

"Sayōnara watashi no ai..."