004
it was 10 pm when the snow started falling. jeno loved the snow, but not like this. not like watching the snow fall from behind the window where he sat with his cat, seoli, and he buried his face in his blanket to force his sobs to become muffled. it really shouldn't have affected him like that. renjun's words shouldn't have hurt him like they did. jeno knew renjun didn't mean it like that, he really did, but gods how his heart broke the moment renjun let those words spill from his mouth.
fuck you renjun fuck you renjun fuck you renjun fuck you renjun a mantra that jeno chanted so fast and so loud he felt his tongue tie up and his head spin. everything renjun said mattered to jeno and that was the problem. jeno was crushing so fucking bad on his best friend and he could do absolutely nothing about it. so why, lee jeno, why are you so sensitive? he whispered to himself, wiping his tears with his blanket and softly petting seoli.
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a quiet knock made him lift himself from his bed, his hair slightly ruffled as he had just buried himself in blankets and tears. it was so faint and quick, he almost thought he imagined it, until it happened again—louder this time. he looked towards the moon, seeing a faint silhouette of a stranger standing outside his window—only it wasn't a stranger.
"fucking idiot." jeno cursed under his breath, quickly getting up and unlatching the lock of his window, "you're a fucking idiot." he said, right before opening his window and letting the person into his room. just as quickly, he closed it, locked it, and took one last glance at the snow before frowning.
the smaller boy was shaking, after doing a double-take jeno realized he had no winter jacket on. dumbass he thought before dragging the boy to his bed and wrapping him up in a spare blanket jeno kept nearby. "huang renjun you're a fucking idiot—what the hell are you doing here?" jeno's arms were crossed but that was barely enough for him to mask his heart beating so fast and so damn loud, he was afraid renjun would be able to hear it.
"i want you to forgive me." renjun's voice quivered, his lips a faint blue and his body still shaking from the cold.
"you didn't have to come here in the fucking cold just to ask for my forgiveness." jeno murmured.
"i know–but i...i couldn't sleep knowing that i would be the reason you were sad tonight," renjun unraveled himself from the blanket and grasped jeno's hand softly, afraid that if he held on too tight jeno would let go.
you're the reason i'm sad every night, jeno's mind swirled, over and over like a trance.
they both stood there, looking into each other's eyes, one asking for forgiveness and the other asking for love. the moon slipped through the curtains and jeno swore he had never seen renjun more breathtaking, the way the moonlight spilled onto renjun's complexions and made his eyes shimmer like milky ways.
huang renjun you are the epitome of art, he silently declared.
"j-jeno. have you been crying?" renjun softly asked, his free hand gently holding jeno's face – he looked so fragile and renjun was afraid he would break him. his thumbs swiped below jeno's eyes to feel the slight puffiness and dried tears. jeno had been crying.
"oh my gods, jeno you've been crying," renjun quickly stood up and enveloped jeno in a hug, his arms wrapping around his friend as tightly as possible. jeno watched as the older became worried, so worried he couldn't even say much, and as bad as it sounds—jeno loved it. jeno loved the attention he was receiving from renjun, as the moon silently watched.
"did i hurt you that bad, jen? i didn't mean to, i swear. im sor-"
"s'okay, jun." jeno muffled, his head comfortably tucked into the crook of renjun's neck, sending shivers down his spine every time he let out a small breath. "i know you didn't mean it." his arms wrapped around renjun's smaller body, both holding onto each other and listening to their steady breathing. if renjun was being honest he could've stayed like that forever.
they almost did.
until jeno's clock struck 12 and he forced renjun to go to bed with him, both tucked under a blanket and their eyes becoming heavy. they fell asleep a few minutes later, seoli curled up right in between them, and their hands softly intertwined under the covers.
