¡ TW: slight mentions of suicide !
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jeno hated the birds and the bees. he hated adam and eve. he hated anything that could be blamed for him being born into a world of hate and suffering. he lived his life like a maniac, looking for anything that could give him attention and satisfaction - something that would fill the gaping void in his life that his father and fake friends could never accomplish.
𝐳𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐥𝐞 was there to fill the atmospheric emptiness. 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐔𝐒𝐓 boy.
❁
"chenle, i havent slept in two days." jeno whispered.
"what is wrong with you?" chenle questioned...but not really. chenle knew jeno – he's seen the weak, hurt, and absolute mess jeno could be.
"a lot of things."
both boys agreed silently.
"is one of those things why you called me up at two in the morning?" chenle asked, looking away from his watch and to the sleep-deprived disaster sitting next to him. they sat on top of the brick wall that separated chenle's home from the busy city of seoul and the stumbling fuck-ups filling the streets that reeked of alcohol and faint cigarette smoke.
"hmmm..why?" jeno asked, his eyes hesitantly looking into chenle's, (he always hated looking into people's eyes. he feared that they would see what was really hidden behind his) "can't i just call a friend up to talk?"
"no. not when that friend was never really your friend...more like a filler." chenle muttered. "like, stardust floating in space. the residue of something far greater." he whispers the last part to himself, softly playing with his fingers as he stared at the grass beneath them.
"i was just there but never really there." chenle speaks a little louder this time, looking up and searching for any remorse in jeno.
"you say that as if i treated you like you were useless." jeno speaks.
"that's because you did." chenle snaps back.
"did not." jeno fought back. but he knew chenle was right. jeno was hurting in the past and he looked for anything that could make him feel something else, chenle just happened to walk by in the right place at the wrong time.
(lee jeno used up zhong chenle's feelings until he was shriveled up into an emotionless ball of innocence. he never really hurt him...just used him up until he could feel no more. all jeno wanted was a real friend, but in the process he realized how cruel he was.)
"i don't think you really want to get into this conversation, jeno, and i don't really feel like opening up old wounds right now." chenle whispered sharply, his fingers tightly gripping on the chipped brick they sat upon, "so, just tell me what's going on."
jeno didn't bother touching on the topic any longer, he knew that he hurt the boy sitting next to him, so they left it at that. "do you remember the night, a couple of years ago, when i begged you to come outside and talk with me?" jeno whispered again, "the night you almost threw up because we ended up crying so hard?"
