010
it felt so wrong.
society had painted the act of love between a man and a woman to be normal, and anyone else's love to be unnatural.
they knew that.
they just really hated feeling so...out of place.
⋆₊✩‧࿐
both boys don't particularly remember how they got there...but either way, they were there – just steps away from entering the busy streets of the city. it was only going to be a small errand, really, it wouldn't take more than ten minutes...but their feet seemed to be glued down – it felt like it was impossible to move forward (at least to jeno).
see, renjun was originally meant to go alone, but jeno (for some unexplainable fucking reason) thought that he was finally ready to go outside with his boyfriend (together).
jeno never felt ready to be seen with renjun just yet. it's not that he was embarrassed of him (of course not) but renjun had a habit of physical affection – or physical contact of any sort – and jeno just never felt ready to venture through the public and hear quiet whispers or see shameless pointing.
he wasn't ready for a lot of things, really, but his boyfriend was more than prepared for his overthinking. that being said – renjun's firm grasp on his hand assured him that everything was alright, it was all going to be okay.
"i know it's our first time out in public," renjun muttered before pulling his partner into a hidden alleyway, "so i don't want you to feel like you need to force yourself to come with me, i'm only getting us coffee anyway."
jeno chewed at his lip in deep thought, feeling a small drop of blood trickle into his mouth, as gross as that sounds – it was a habit that jeno had difficulty quitting. he looked down at his partner's eyes, his features softening almost immediately. "i know, jun, but–" quite frankly, renjun himself didn't even know why jeno was so determined in accompanying him, "i don't want you to think that i don't go out with you because i'm embarrassed by us. i want people to know that i'm yours and you're mine –more than anything– but i..." he lowered his head, glaring softly at his shoes because he was angry at himself.
he was ashamed that he couldn't be confident and kiss his boyfriend in front of people, or hold hands and not care about what others thought, or go on dates and show just how in love he was with the boy standing in front of him. he was ashamed of just being himself, in a really pathetic way.
he let out a frustrated sigh, "i'm just being a coward–"
"no."
jeno glanced up at the mention of the word, eyes widening as he saw his boyfriend staring at him, bright galaxies taking up most of his irises.
"don't say that, jen." the shorter of the two wore a soft smile, eyes glimmering as he tried his best to reassure his partner. "i know you're scared, damn it – i am too, but i know you don't mean to be. it's not our fault people might look at us for a little too long or they whisper to each other as we walk by – it's not our fault." renjun slightly squeezed jeno's hand, letting him know he understood.
"i know that, jun-" (do you, jeno?)
"then why are you so worried?" renjun dropped jeno's hand and grasped his shoulders, his eyes searching for a shooting star in the latter's wide pupils, anything that would let him know his boyfriend was okay. "what are you so worried about, jeno?" he didn't find any – not even a single constellation.
