STEREK: Finding Your Love

Hope

Stiles opened his eyes irritated at the sound of his alarm. He didn't feel like getting up today as his bed welcomed him to stay all day. But he knew he couldn't, his dad would get mad and he would have to repeat the year if he missed anymore school. Reluctantly getting out of bed, Stiles groaned. He got in the shower, the warm water waking up his muscles. 

"Stiles, I gotta go to work, I'll see you later," called his dad.

"Okay," Stiles responded. 

After brushing his teeth and combing his hair, Stiles went downstairs and grabbed his bag. He put on his shoes and walked outside. The air was chilly, but the sunlight was warm and welcoming. Frost covered most exposed surfaces and glistened like diamonds as the sunlight reflected off of it. The weather was starting change.

"It's so pretty out," thought Stiles. "I wish I was in a better mood to enjoy it."

After waiting for his jeep to un-thaw, Stiles headed off to school. He wished he would have stayed in bed instead having to deal with the struggles of today. He knew he didn't want to see Scott and Isaac and to be asked how he was doing. He didn't want to see other people in school; he didn't want to have to sit through classes he didn't care about. He just wanted to be alone, so he could clear his head. But he knew better. He had to get though this day, the rest of the week, the rest of the month, and the rest of the year. Even then he was sure he wouldn't be over Derek. He would probably never be over Derek. 

"Did I make a mistake?" Stiles questioned. 

His heart and mind were confused. He knew he wanted to be with Derek, but he knew he hated the way he was constantly jealous of who was with Derek when he wasn't around. He hated how much control Derek had on his life. Even now, Derek wasn't in his life, but he had so much control of his thoughts. He missed the way Derek would hold him, the way he would call him and talk to him before he would fall asleep, the first thing he would see some mornings, and he missed the way he could be himself with him. Derek would bring out the best in Stiles, and Stiles would bring out the best in Derek. 

"I need to finish school before thinking about anything serious," Stiles thought out loud. "The school year is almost over, and I need to focus on my grades before I fail all my classes."

As he pulled into the parking lot, the feeling of regret started in his stomach and quickly spread throughout his body. He felt nauseous. As he got out of the car, the cool air helped his stomach ease up. Walking quickly past everyone, he quickly made it to his first class. The teacher looked up from his papers as Stiles quickly walked in and took a seat. 

"Stiles, glad to see you on time for once," the teacher remarked. 

"Y-yeah," Stiles breathed. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure, but I hope it's about your grade," the teacher smiled.

"It is. I was just wondering if there's anyway I could get my grade up before schools done. I really need to get it up, and I know I should have been thinking about this earlier, but my mind has been elsewhere for the past few months," Stiles trailed on as he walked up to the teachers desk.

"I've noticed. It is getting a little close to the end of the year, but since you are showing concern towards your grade, I think I can come up with something for you to do to get your grade up," he replied. "Since we are studying English literature, I would like you to pick any book from the 1800's and do a book report on it. I'll give you 3 weeks to finish it and then give you another extra credit project to help boost your grade. In the meantime, I'll try to find extra worksheets you can do to help your grade."

"Thank you so much," Stiles smiled as he went back to his seat. 

The rest of the day went on the pretty much as the first class did. He got to his classes early and begged the teachers to give him work so he can raise his grades. His teachers were surprised that he even cared this late in the school year, but they agreed. If he could raise his grades to a B he would be proud of himself. 

As the end of the day approached, he felt better and better about things. He felt as if he was making a step in the right direction. Stiles knew his dad would be happy. 

Derek would be proud of you. 

A wave of pity and sadness enveloped him as he walked to his jeep. Derek would be proud of him for trying hard to improve his grades. But he didn't want to tell Derek. If he started talking to him again, Stiles knew his grades would suffer again. Not because Derek didn't want him to succeed in his studies, but because all he could ever focus on was Derek. 

"I need to clear my head," Stiles thought.

Stiles drove to the one place he always does to clear his head. The familiar spot that felt like home to him. In this place he knew he could relax, even if it were just for a moment.

Birds were chirping in the distance, the cool breeze welcomed Stiles as he got out of his vehicle. The trees swayed with the breeze as if they were doing a dance. The sunlight parted the trees ever so slightly. Stiles started to walk thicker into the trees, getting lost in thought as the pine needles crunched under his feet. He reached the rock where he carved his name into years ago. Sitting down, Stiles let out a sigh thinking about what he should do next.

"Hey," a deep voice sighed to Stiles' right side.

Stiles looked up, startled someone else was here. Derek walked closer to Stiles before taking a seat on the ground next to him.

"I know you said you didn't want to see me," Derek began. "But I'm worried about you.  Stiles, I love you. I've been getting this bad feeling ever since you said you didn't want to see me." 

"I'm fine. I'm starting extra work today so I can raise my grades. I'm trying to focus on school, what I should have been doing all along," Stiles replied, avoiding Derek's eyes.

"Okay," Derek sighed softly.

They both sat there in silence for a while. Neither of them had the courage to tell the other how they were feeling because they were afraid of the answer. Stiles sighed hanging his head in his hands. He wanted to be alone, but he was secretly happy that Derek was here next to him. He felt that it meant he didn't completely ruin their relationship.

"Derek," Stiles started, finally looking at him. "I'm glad you're here."

Derek looked back at Stiles and smiled softly. Whether he meant it or not, he was unsure. But he was glad he was there too. At least it meant that Stiles didn't hate him.

"If you need help with your studies, let me know. I'd be glad to help you," Derek smiled.

"Really?" Stiles inquired, a smile danced on his lips. "Could you help me with a book report?"

A/N: I was going to make this chapter longer, but I like where it ends. Gives me so many opportunities for the next chapter. Which will be up next Monday, by the way. Going to try and upload each Monday around 1 p.m. Thank you for reading!