STEREK: Finding Your Love

Still Feel

Pretty soon the sun disappeared from the sky and the sky turned from blue, to pinks, to reds, to purples, and finally to black. Stars twinkled in the sky, the moon shining in through the windows as Derek and Stiles laid on Stiles' bed watching a video on YouTube. Stiles laid with his head on Derek's chest, Derek's arm draped around Stiles' shoulders. 

"Derek, do you think we will ever break up?" 

Derek looked into Stiles' big, brown, puppy dog eyes. "My intention is to keep you as mine forever." 

"Derek, I'm being serious."

"Me too, hun. Mating is a serious thing, and when we mate, I will fight to the death anyone who threatens to take you away from me." Derek smiled as he placed a kiss on Stiles' forehead. "Most people don't take mates from alphas though, but it's not uncommon. Which reminds me, I have to leave for a week. I'm meeting up with a pack from the Northern Rockies. I would love to have you be there with me, but I want you to focus on your studies. I'll be back before you know it."

"Please be careful," Stiles pleaded. "I don't want to lose you."

"I'm not going alone. Other pack members will be going. Not Scott or Isaac though. They have to focus on their studies, too. I'll keep you updated, so don't worry your pretty head."

"What does it mean to be mated?" Stiles questioned, sitting up to face Derek.

"I mean, technically, we aren't mated, yet," Derek blushed as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"What do you mean? We've, ya'know, multiple times," Stiles motioned with his hands.

"Yes, but I have to mark you in order for you to be my mate."

"Then mark me!"

"Stiles, if I mark you, you'll turn. I don't want to do that to you."

"Why not? I'm ready!"

"Stiles, you may be ready, but I'm not. I do want you to think about this though. It's a huge commitment, more serious than marriage. I want you to make sure you're absolutely ready for what the future could hold."

Stiles sat there shocked. Of course he was ready to become Derek's mate. He's been ready since they've met. That muscular body of his that flexes every time he crawls on top of his own, that scruffy beard that drives him crazy when it scratches on his neck. Of course he's ready to be whatever it takes to keep Derek as only his.

"What do you mean you're not ready?" Stiles fought back the tears threatening to spill over.

"Stiles, turning the first time is painful. Very painful. All your bones breaking for the first time sucks beyond belief. I don't think I could bring myself to watch you go through that," Derek smiled apologetically.

"What if it's not just up to you? What about my feelings in this? You may not want to watch me turn, but what if its something I want? Something I've been craving since our first time? Do you ever think of anyone besides yourself?"

Stiles got up from the bed, tears streaming down his face. He walked over to his desk, leaning up against it as he wiped the tears falling from his eyes. He knew he was ready for whatever happened. He wanted to be the only one by Derek's side. If he didn't finish school and had to run away from this small town, he'd do it. He'd give up his life to be with Derek.

"Okay, how about after you finish school, I will mark you?" Derek got up from the bed and walked over to Stiles.

"That's still months away, Derek. What happens if someone comes in between us during those months? I couldn't live with myself if I knew there was something I could do about it." 

Derek took Stiles' face into his hands and forced him to look into his eyes. "Stiles, I love you. Let's wait at least a month. Can you do that for me?"

"I guess I can," Stiles reluctantly agreed. 

They both crawled back into the bed. Stiles rolled over onto his side, his back now facing Derek. He knew what he wanted, there was no doubt in his mind he wanted otherwise. He wanted to be there for Derek, the one who he took with him on these trips that were so important. But he wasn't one of them, and somehow Stiles felt that it was part of the reason he didn't get to do much with Derek. Why Derek kept him in the dark with his affairs. If he were to be marked and changed, he knew Derek would be more open with him. And that's all he really wanted. He wanted to feel important in Derek's life.

Stiles closed his eyes and let the tears fall silently onto the pillow beneath him. No matter what he could tell Derek, he knew he was too stubborn to change his mind. Maybe it was better for him if he just moved on and let Derek deal with whatever he's going through. 

"Stiles," Derek whispered softly, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, can we talk about this when I get back from my meeting? I promise I'll hear you out and we can decide together what is best for us."

Stiles turned to face Derek, tears still streaming down his cheeks. The soft smile in Derek's eyes, the sad frown on his lips at the sight of the tears broke Stiles' heart. Derek somehow knew how to pull at Stiles' heart strings and Stiles' couldn't tell him no.

"Yes," Stiles' sniffed through the tears. 

A/N: So, fast update, whooo! It's a bit sad, but I was feeling a bit depressed. Now that that's out of the way, I can hopefully make a happy chapter. Not hopefully, I'll make a happy chapter. Sorry this one is a bit short, next one will be longer.

I hate to do this, but if ya'll could check out my other story I'm currently writing, I would really appreciate it. It's called "Body Type". I only have like 2 chapters up on it, but I'm currently working on it a little more than I am on this one. It's nothing to do with Sterek, or Teen Wolf. Its a bl novel though. 

Thank you all for reading and voting! I still can't believe that some people are still reading this even after 4 years of inactivity. I love you all so much.