Reality of Love

Chapter 4

Sara
I smile at his words. They comfort me in a way I don't think I've ever been comforted before. I like it. "You know you can be sweet when you want to be Logan," I whisper wiping a tear off my cheek.
"Depends on the person." He says softly and yet again his words manage to melt me. His words have this effect on me that I can't control. It's all such a foreign feeling but it's something my I feel like I've been waiting for. I like it. "Sara, I'm sorry." What? "For saying you were like every other girl." He clarifies when I give him a puzzled expression.
"This again? Yeah, it was pretty hurtful and a little humiliating but I'm not balling my eyes out or dying over it." He lets out a small chuckle and stares down at me with a smile. His deep stare gives my body a tingly sensation between my legs and I absentmindedly pull my bottom lip between my teeth. He brings one hand up to my cheek and lifts my chin with the other, not taking his eyes off me for even a second. His face inches closer to mine, it's completely silent except for the loud pounding of my heart.
"I want you." He whispers into my ear his warm breath fanning over my cheek. My mind is racing all over the place. He presses me against the wall and his fresh minty scent fills my nostrils. Oh, fuck me. There it goes again, the tingling between my legs was back though it never really left. Before I can manage to get any words out his lips crash against mine. His tongue grazes mine and before I know it I'm kissing him right back. My brain is yelling at me to stop but my body and the urge of the throbbing between my legs overpower it. The thoughts running through my mind fizzles out as my body grows more and more eager for his touch. His hands pull me up and I wrap my legs tightly around his waist our mouths never leaving each other. He walks us over to the bed and drops me down on my back. "I knew you'd give in eventually." He gives a devilish smirk. Wait. My mind clicks back in place and I pause realizing what's actually happening. I just made out with Logan and willingly this time. I'm not ready for this. Sure Logan has experience in this kind of stuff but I sure as hell don't. Everything is happening so quick I don't have time to fully figure out if everything that's happening is real or if it's just a game.
"I-" I hesitate as I touch my lips that are anxious to touch his again. Nope, I can't. " I don't think I should be doing this." I finish and turn to look at him. His brown eyes immediately cut deep into my hazel ones. He really thought I would let it happen this time. A small feeling of guilt and then want tug at my gut but I'm quick to push them out of my mind. 
"You should get some rest then." He spits out and quickly gets up heading straight to the door. Damn it why is he so stubborn.
"Logan-" I try to call after him but am cut off by the sound of the door closing leaving me alone in this room. It feels colder now that he's left. It feels like something's missing. I'll talk to him tomorrow morning, he's right I do need some rest it's been a long night.

Logan
I hear Sara call after me until it's cut off by the door closing behind me. When I finally started to think she was trusting me she cuts it off once again. What is it with her? She gives me this thrill, it's a feeling of desire and need. Is this all just because I can't have her? I did like a challenge but this, she was different.

I jolt up from my short sleep when I hear a faint yelp coming from down the hall. Sara. I sprint to her and thrown open the door. She's sitting on the floor next to the bed and I rush towards her.
"Are you okay? What happened?" I let the urgency come clear in my voice. She just laughs. What? "Sara, what the hell happened?" I ask again when she doesn't give me an answer.
"I woke up only to slip and fall on my butt!" She says between laughs. Oh, thank god.
"I thought you were seriously hurt." I rub my tired eyes and she smiles.
"Nope, just me being clumsy as usual. Damn it, it's going to take forever to fall asleep again." She groans facepalming herself.
"Maybe you don't have to go back to sleep," I suggest and she gives me a confused look, "We could go out somewhere instead since it's basically morning." This I can tell she likes because of the way her hazel eyes light up and her face glows. What a gorgeous sight to see.
"Ooh, that sounds so refreshing!" She squeals in excitement. "Could we go to my favorite place?" She nudges me jumps up. Her favorite place. That would be one of her favorite things down and the rest to be discovered after.
"What's your favorite place?" I'm curious and something in me is urging to explore everything about this girl.
She's quick to respond, "A bookstore called Paramour Nook, it's where I work too." Paramour Nook. I recognize it the moment she says it. It was my mother's favorite place. When I was younger, she used to describe it as the most enchanting place she'd been. She'd say it's walls were lined with countless books that contained different worlds you'd fall in love with. She promised she'd take me there. She promised she'd show me everything from her favorite spots in the store to her favorite trinkets that were displayed. She promised so much but life caught up to her. Some would describe my mother as strange or unusual but others would say she was remarkable or even unforgettable. She'd put in every damn piece of happiness she had and gift it to others and she'd never had enough left to keep for herself. When I was seven, my mother, Annalise James, wasn't happy with her life. She hit a point in her life where she was exhausted and couldn't be happy. At the time I was completely fucking clueless. I never knew what happened to her that changed her, until I was 14. I overheard things and waitressed things before that I didn't understand but finally pieced it all together. Since then my mind has been a fucking mess. I'm working my ass off to make enough money to afford my own place. I can't live in a house with my father. Just calling him my father makes me want to gag.
"So can we go?" Sara asks, breaking me from my memories, "Please?" She begs. I have to go, for myself and for Sara. I need to see the place my mother loved.
"Sure." I give a short response so my vulnerability doesn't seep through my voice. She hugs me and it eases me a little, the warmth of her excitement causing a small smile to tug at my lips. This girl, she's something unexpected and I know that sometime I'll wish I didn't feel so comfortable but for now I want to feel like this with her for as long as possible.

We make it to Paramour Nook just as it begins to storm. I take in all the shelves filled with books of all colors and then the trinkets decorated around the room. Wow my mother really wasn't kidding when she said this place was the most enchanting place she'd been. Every where you looked you say books and even the ceilings had colorful pages hanging with pressed flowers tapped to them. It's strange but though I've never been here I could picture my mother sitting in the coziest area with a romance novel in one hand and in the other, her favorite pen and in her lap her notebook filled with all of the quotes she adored. My mother would read me those quotes at night and I would write them down and save them in my desk drawer. I still have them but they've been untouched since I was 14.

Sara walks over to the front desk and hugs this lady with light brown hair, almost a grey-brown.
"Sara! You're here so early! Your parents let you drive here by yourself this early in the morning?" Let her? Why would she need permission just to go to a book store?
"It's a little complicated... but! I didn't come here alone I brought someone with me," she turns to me and smiles, "meet Logan James! He's my.. uh... he goes to my school." She laughs awkwardly which makes the lady join in, "Logan this is Lenora Frances, the wonderful owner of Paramour Nook, my favorite place which happens to be my work place."
"A new customer! James... hmm sounds familiar but I'm old so maybe I'm just thinking of someone else." She laughs. She knows my mother. She has to know, she came here almost every single day.

author's note
happy halloween lovelies! this chapter was a little shorter than i wanted it to be but it did show a new more vulnerable side to logan which i really wanted. i hope you liked this chapter and i will be publishing the next chapter next week friday or saturday so get ready! what was your favorite part of this chapter?? let me know nothing you'd like to see in future chapters! also quick note could any of you think of some names for you guys because i would love to call you something special :) 
xo, hanna ✩