Reality of Love

Chapter 5

Logan
"Can I show Logan around?" Sara practically squeals.
"Of course, it might convince him to get a few books." She smirks at me. I have to know if she knew my mother. She passed away when I was so young and when I asked my father about her he would shove me away so I didn't bother asking after a while. No one will tell me anything of what she was like before me. I feel like I barely knew my mother or anything about my parents after what happened and I haven't found anyone who can tell me what she was like when she was her happiest. I know when she was her happiest, it was when she was in this book store. It has to be. She loved this place. Someone taps my shoulder and I jump out of my thoughts realizing that I'm still in the book store with Sara.
"Come on, you've been staring off into space ever since we got here. I'm going to give you a grand tour of Paramour Nook!" She beams with excitement and I can't help but return a smile at her.

She's midway through showing me her favorite section of the whole book store when I spot it. My mother's favorite book.
"Ooh, After! That's one of my favorites have you read it before?" I hadn't even realized that it was in my hands. I recognize the book as my hands graze the familiar colored post-its marking the worn pages. This is my mother's book. She'd mark the pages with a pink post-it if she loved a certain quote or scene, a purple post-it for the pages that made her cry, and blue post-its for the pages that had the intense parts where she stopped reading and came back to finish. She loved how many twists and turns this book had and how it showed her that words on a page could contain so much emotion. But the real question is how did my mother's book get on these shelves?
"Logan," Sara looks up at me, her eyebrows pulled together, "are you okay? You're daydreaming a lot." She questions as my phone buzzes in my pocket.
"Yeah, sorry," I respond and check the message on my phone from Jenna.
Dude, where did you and Sara go? Some people are starting to wake up, like Vanessa!
Shit. "We need to go." I grab Sara's arm and lead her to the front, the book still in my hand. "Hey can you save this for me, I'll come back later to get it," I ask the lady whose name I can't remember right now but that's not important.
"Sure, I would give you a time limit but since you're Sara's friend I'll let it slide." She puts the book under the desk and I pull Sara out the door.
"Thank you, Nora, I'll see you in a little!" She waves goodbye, "You could've at least said thank you." She whacks my arm lightly. "Why do we have to go anyway?"
"Because Jenna's asking where we are and people are waking up."

Sara
My phone buzzes in my jacket pocket and as suspected when I check it I see messages from Jenna. Sooo you and Logan huh ;) Oh my gosh. She's never going to let this go. She doesn't even know about the whole night yet and she's already playing around with it. Oh shut up, it's nothing we're just friends now. I find myself smiling like an idiot with this giddy feeling in my stomach. Yeah, sure friends is what you call you two making out earlier, my subconscious comments. I roll my eyes and push it back. As exciting as that was in the moment I made it clear to Logan that I couldn't. He's a known player and sure he did show a sweet side last night but you never know he could be playing with me. Almost every girl at my school could say they've had sex with him but never anything more because he's cut it off and broke their hearts. I don't need that. I don't need sex or a heartbreak right now in my life. Plus I was already way too vulnerable to him last night and sex is a whole other level of vulnerable. We reach Logan's car and now that I'm not lost in my own thoughts I notice how urgent he seems to get back to his house. Why do we need to get back so fast? It's not like his parents are home to yell at him. "Uh, Logan why do we need to get back so quick?" I ask hoping he doesn't turn my question down. I notice his jaw tighten a little.
"I just don't want people to mess with my house while I'm gone." He responds but I can tell he's holding something back. What is it?
I decide to let it slide, "Okay," My phone buzzes again, a message popping up on my screen from Jenna. Where'd you guys go anyway and why so early? I read. Paramour Nook and we went early because I fell on my butt and couldn't fall back asleep. She's replying in seconds, You went early because you fell on your butt? That explains nothing give me moree! I let a little giggle out when I read Jenna's message. I should've known she'd want more, she's always been one for needing details. Okay, okay! You know how I drank last night and I stayed in one of the rooms? Well Logan walked in when I was sleeping to get a shirt from the dresser. We might have maybe made out.. but I stopped it. I couldn't do it. He stormed out but later into the -really early morning I guess- he came in when her heard me slip and fall on my butt. He suggested we go out somewhere because it was basically morning and that's it. I hit send, I kept out the personal stuff like me telling Logan about my bruise and all because it felt special, like it was a moment just for us. I smile to myself remembering how Logan comforted me and how safe he made me feel. It's strange how it takes so much from me to open up to people but with Logan it took nothing. I laugh at this thought.
"What's funny?" Logan looks to me when we reach a stop light.
"Oh, it's nothing." I giggle and his brows pull together making me laugh more.
"Really, what is it?" He tries again starting to get just a little frustrated.
"Okay fine, I was just thinking how easy it was for me to open up to you last night. I'm not much of a person to spill personal stuff to someone I hardly know. So it's just kind of funny to me I guess." His frustration fades and his facial features soften.
"Yeah, I'm not that kind of person either. Personal stuff is not a topic I enjoy talking about very often that's why most people don't know much about me, personally." I always knew he was a mysterious kind of person when it came to his life but it's weird seeing him with this hint of vulnerability. I like it.

We reach his house and I notice less cars and a few people starting to leave. Logan rushes us inside the house and Jenna greets us first thing.
"Heyy so how was you're little adventure?" She smirks at the two of us. I feel my cheeks heat up and start toying with the chain on my charm bracelet.
"It was uh fine." I quickly respond sending her a look that says 'don't you dare ask anymore questions'.
She lets a little laugh out throws her arm around my shoulder and leans to whisper in my ear, "Don't worry I'll ask more later." I roll my eyes at her, she's going to need to know everything later.
"So who else is up?" Logan looks to Jenna and she nods. Weird.
"Well Hope left because she needed to go with her mom to some bakery or whatever and Stella went with. Blake is still knocked out and Vanessa is in one of the rooms on her phone I think." Jenna responds and the last part makes Logan's jaw stiffen. What the hell.
"Okay, cool. Sara you should probably get back home so you're parents are worrying, Jenna could take you." He seems rushed but why? Why would he need me to leave I thought his parents weren't going to be here.
"I don't think my parents will really worry but I could go back to Paramour Nook since I have a shift soon if you need me to go." It comes out more as a question than a suggestion because I still have no clue why he's in such a rush for me to leave.
"Yeah that works." He looks back to the hallway before turning his attention back to me. What the hell is he looking for?
Wait. I'm such an idiot. He wants me to go because of Vanessa. Vanessa would be furious if she saw us together or just me in general. He just wants me gone so he doesn't make his "girlfriend" or "fuck buddy" or whatever she is, upset. I thought that he was actually genuine but I guess I was wrong. He's just toying with me. I can't believe that I spilled my personal life to him thinking it meant something only to find out he would never actually think of me as something. I admit I had this feeling about him that made me think we had some kind of possibility of being close to a something but that's all gone now. We can't be anything, we never will be.
"Yeah it's perfect, I'll leave right away so you don't get caught with me." I yank open the door and storm out as Jenna follows me close behind me. Tears start blurring my vision as I hear Logan call out my name from behind me. This is all bullshit, why am I crying over a stupid boy who couldn't care less about me.
"Sara! It's not like that!" He calls out to me again.
I abruptly turn around to face him, "Really? Then what's it like huh?" He opens his mouth to speak but I cut him off, "You know what no, I don't need anymore of your bullshit. Go have fun sleeping around with Vanessa, you don't have to pretend to worry about me anymore!" I yell in his face as more tears come rolling down my cheeks. Jenna unlocks her car and I rush in right away.
She starts driving and I sit there silent, my tears sliding down my red stained cheeks.
"Sara are you okay?" When I don't respond she continues, "I love you but I know Logan and I don't think all he was doing with you was pretending. Sure he plays with girls all the time but I think all that happens between last night and this morning was genuine." Genuine, really? He practically was begging for me to leave his house because he was worried Vanessa would see us. If he was really genuine he wouldn't have cared if Vanessa saw us. "Sara, talk to me please." She tries again.
"Fine you want me to talk? I spilled personal things to Logan thinking he was genuine but no I fell in his trap like every other girl in our school." My voice starts to get weak, "I told him about my bruise Jen. I told him everything about it and I want to take it all back every single thing that happened tonight. I just want it to unhappen." My voice breaks and I let my head fall in my hands, welcoming the river of tears.
Jenna pulls over and pulls me closer to her, "It will be okay, I promise and if I don't keep that promise I will owe you anything your beautiful heart desires. I'm sorry this happened Sar. I shouldn't have brought you to the party, I wouldn't have to see you so hurt like this if I hadn't. I'm sorry." She hugs me and I can tells she feels guilty but it's not her fault. I don't want her to feel like it is because it's mine. I agreed to come and I chose to tell Logan everything.
"It's not your fault Jen I just wish that I didn't feel so hurt from this, from him." I whisper the last part and another tear slowly slips down my cheek, hitting my leg.
"Okay well if for some crazy reason I don't keep that promise, you're birthday is coming up soon so keep your wish list in mind." I manage to let out a small saddened laugh and she hugs me tighter one last time and then begins driving again.

author's note
hey hey luvly's! hehe i figured out a name for you guys so you like it? well anyway i really hope you enjoyed this chapter even though it is very overdue -like most of my chapters- but if you did like it please comment what your favorite parts were or least favorite parts. if you'd like please vote on the chapter because it really helps tell me if you enjoyed it or not. thank you for all the love and support my luvly's i love you all so much!
luv, hanna ✩