𝘊𝘖𝘔𝘌 𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘌, 𝘔𝘠 𝘓𝘐𝘓' 𝘉𝘜𝘕𝘕𝘠...「𝘑𝘐𝘒𝘖𝘖𝘒/𝘒𝘖𝘖𝘒𝘔𝘐𝘕 𝘍𝘍」

98

Once I got back to the hotel, I put the gun on the table and sat on a chair. I checked if the gun was loaded... and it was. Once I ensured myself with the fact that these are real bullets I sat on the couch and looked into space. ,,Fuck..." I said and layed on the couch. ,,...I can't do it. I'm not that confident or brave to shoot him... even tho he made our life the worst, I think he doesn't deserve to be shot to death... or does he?" I was thinking all over and over again, if I should actually do it. ,,What did I agree to do... why did you do this Jimin...?" I asked myself and walked over to the mirror. ,,Why are you like this? Always accepting what anyone says... you're such a dumbass.." I shouted at myself and I didn't see the same me. I saw someone was was broken and all over the place with his mind. ,,Am I even me anymore...?" I asked myself and I cried. ,,Am I even me...?" I whispered and cried even louder. I fell down on the ground and cried loudly. ,,I'm such a dumbass! I ways fuck up everything... I always fuck up..." I whispered while sobbing. Once I stood up I tried to calm myself down, but with every look in the mirror, I saw the reflection of me and I cried again. ,,I'm such a mistake... but with Jungkook I didn't feel this way. With him I was calm as a lamb, that was peacefully laying an a grass in a peaceful valley... he calmed me in way that no one ever could... he made me feel special... and I'll most likely lose him..." I whispered and tears rolled down again. ,,I'm sorry... I'm so sorry Jungkook...!" I said and went to cry my eyes in a pillow, on that couch, while looking at the gun. Even tho I didn't want to, I fell asleep yet again. Even tho I knew Kan will call me and even tho I had to meet Kai and Jungkook, both most likely for the last time...