The Romance Chemical

Restless Heart Syndrome

A week later I am still no nearer to finding an antidote than I had been last week. I am slowly losing my mind as Gerard's love for me is now bordering on obsession and he decides that he needs to be near me almost every waking minute. Yesterday I asked Patrick if he could lend me notes from English as the constant beeping of my cellphone, to alert me I had messages from Gerard, had distracted me. Unfortunately, Gerard thought that Patrick had 'ulterior motives' as he had put it and attacked Patrick after school with a cricket bat on the field. I hear Pete says that Patrick will 'never be the same again'. I didn't know what to think when Gerard turned up at my house, splattered with dried blood, and told me that "there was no need to worry," and "no one was gonna steal my Frankie." I shudder at the thought of his psychotic grin and his bloody cricket bat held proudly in his hand like a war medallion for a job well done. 

My tired eyes scan through screeds of text as I search, in vain, for a cure to his chemical infliction. This is no longer something to put off so I could steal a caress to fill my hunger for his touch, this is a desperate race against the clock as it is only a matter of time before dear Gerard, to put it plainly, kills someone. 

"Heya Frankie!" Geard's cheerful voice fills the room as I quickly shut the page I was looking at. "Whatcha lookin at?" I have had plenty of practice now, to come up with excuses and my mind quickly comes up with yet another lie to calm Gerard's maniacal rage. "Haha, hey you. I was uh, just looking for a present for you for Christmas!" I cringe as my voice sounds overly bubbly and so very fake but Gerard seems to buy my dreadful evasion of the truth. "Oh, well Frankie Christmas is aaaaages away so we have plenty of time to spend together in the mean time." He gently brushes his finger tips against my cheek bones and I am reminded that no matter how insane Gerard may be, he still can make my heart flutter.

As Gerard molds his face onto mine I think back to the last times we have 'made out' in the last week and take note of how each time he has gotten more and more rough with me. Suddenly I am aware of his hands moving downwards towards my crotch area and I quickly jump off the office chair, away from Gerard. Gerard's face crumples in on itself as he deals with my rejection. "You don't-" a tear drips down his cheek and my heart breaks a little. "You don't love me?" A waterfall is now pouring down his face and my heart is now completely shattered. How can I be so cruel as to make the love of my life cry? Yes he may be mentally unstable but it's not his fault, it's the chemical and I cannot deny my love for him no matter how he acts or who he is. "Of course I love you sweetie," I wipe away his tears and plant a chaste kiss on his watery lips. He tilts his head towards me slightly so I can see every bead of moisture on his dark lashes. "Y-you do?" I nod my head and he snuggles into my open arms, his forehead resting against my temple. I gaze into his hazel eyes for a while and bask in the innocent glow that seems to radiate from him. How can he look so innocent one moment, but become a rage filled monster the next.

Just then I notice his eyes have turned dark and there are hints of red hiding amongst them as the obsessive side of the chemical takes control once again. There are many forms that the chemical can take, it could be the jealous filled monster that almost killed poor Patrick, or the sweet gentle character that curls up beside him and sings him to sleep. Those are just two personas of the many faces of my chemical lover. Gerard with no warning, jumps off my lap and walks out the door. As he reaches for the handle he turns to me, his eyes smouldering with an unrecognizable emotion. "I just gotta sort something out, OK Frank?" I blink and he seems to take that as a positive response. He carries on talking, his voice a lilting whisper that makes my hair stand on end. "You know I would never hurt you Frank. I would kill anyone who harmed you, because you and I are going to be together for ever

And ever

And ever...