Up To You

04 - Dreams, painting and exes

Devonne's POV

"Come on, are you leaving already?" I pulled the brunette back. I haven't really seen her face yet but I knew she was breathtaking. Her long tanned legs looked great in her high waisted shorts.

"Yeah" She replied. "I gotta go." She grabbed her purse and left the crowded, loud house after giving me a note with her number on.

I threw myself back on the couch. Suddenly, I didn't wanna be at this party anymore. My head felt funny and so did my stomach.

I smiled thinking back to the make out session I had with the brunette. I've never gotten her name.

Philip.

I had just cheated on Philip.

A part of me didn't care. I was still in the party mood. I laughed thinking about how Philip would react, then I suddenly started crying. He's gonna hate me. He will break up with me.

I woke up, breathing heavily. I shuffled on the bed to look at the hour.

"01:30 am."

Philip turned around in bed. "What?" He groggily asked. "Why are you awake."

"I-" I stuttered, mentally slapping myself. "Nightmare, it's okay."

"Mhm.." He mumbled before falling back asleep.

I, on the other hand, I couldn't sleep. I felt sick. I was a cheating whore. I started sweating, suddenly feeling really guilty.

"It was a dream." I told myself. "Just a dream."

When I couldn't bear the silence of the room anymore, I made my way to the kitchen. I thought that maybe I'd feel better after drinking a glass of water.

That didn't help, though. Although a shower did make me feel less nervous.

"Why did you take a shower at two am?" Phil asked when I entered his bedroom.

"The nightmare." I whispered.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He opened his arms for me to snuggle up in him. I simply shook my head, not wanting to tell him I dreamed about cheating on him with another girl.

The next day was horrible. I kept stuttering in class, stumbling over things and forgetting what I was gonna say. The dream still was getting to me and I didn't even know why.

Maybe I had to tell Philip. Maybe it was my guilt because of him not knowing I'm bisexual, but why does that matter? It was just a fucking dream.

"Miss," A voice brought me back to reality during lunch.

I wasn't having lunch with Phil because I didn't dare to make my way to his classroom. By the way things were going today, I figured I could maybe trip and die on my way there. I, to be honest, wasn't even hungry. I was staring at some papers before I got interrupted.

"I don't have English class today, so I thought I'd bring the paper in over lunch." Selena said.

"Ah, yes. Come in, Selena." I smiled sweetly. I could see the girl was doing effort in getting better if she actually was that horrible the past years.

"Are you okay? You look kind of.. flustered." Selena quietly said before handing me her paper.

"I'm good, I'm just stressed." I lied.

She smiled at me. "Try painting. It really helps."

"Thank you." I smiled. "Do you paint?" I asked, wanting to get my mind off things.