Listen to Your Heart

Chapter Three

*Trigger warning* mention of sexual assault

The entire situation was completely overwrought and overdramatic and although drama and Lady Gaga went hand in hand (hell, she'd built her entire brand on it), she loathed it in her personal life. There was no time for trivial shit, especially when every minute of her day was scheduled and accounted for most of the time. Her mother had taught both of her daughters from an early age that running away did nothing to solve a problem. She and Natali were scrappy because they had to be. She, especially, knew she was going into a superficial industry where she was already at a disadvantage being a woman and one who wasn't conventionally attractive, at that. She'd fought tooth and nail for everything she'd worked for. She had given up relationships and the thought of starting a family earlier in life, she'd sacrificed not having close friendships outside of The Haus, not seeing her own family as often, even her health. Everything she had, every ounce of passion, went into her career. There was little balance and she recognized that, but she'd pushed too long and too hard now to relinquish control about anything.

Bradley had scared her.

It wasn't so much Bradley himself, she acknowledged blearily over room service the following morning. He'd asked her to trust him and she had. It was what was needed for the film and she could see from the final product, it had paid off in droves. That level of vulnerability had been terrifying enough but he'd held her hand the whole way through it and she'd achieved a level of artistic expression that she was incredibly proud of.

What she hadn't counted on was just how much she trusted him, period.

"You don't have to talk about it," Bradley said gently. "I don't want you to talk about anything that's going to hurt you."

They had been doing character work all day, some of it in Bradley's home studio with Susan and the rest at her house, just talking off the cuff to get to know one another better, to develop the unassuming openness that Jackson and Ally needed to share.

Sprawled across her California king bed, he, at the top, resting against the small mountain of pillows and she, at the foot, he told her about his father, what it had been like to lose him, to hold him in his arms as he took his last breath.

He tore up, making her cry as well. She understood the special relationship he had had with his dad; she felt the same way about her own father, and she took his hand as he expressed his worry about his mother being alone, how he wished he had been a better son.

It was humbling and beautiful that he could be so open with her and speak about something that was obviously painful and deeply personal but then again, he knew it went both ways. He was one of the first people she'd let know when she and Taylor called off their engagement. He had come over with take-out and instinctively knew she had been crying already for days and she just needed someone there, even if it was only to watch mindless television with.

The days were dark and only two things got her through, focusing on the upcoming dates for the Joanne tour and working with him. He didn't seem to be intimidated by her megastar status or how much of a workaholic she was. He didn't walk on eggshells around her like so many tended to do. He treated her like Stefani, the person who, when it came down to it, craved simplicity, who just wanted to cook and be at home with her dogs and horses. From the moment they met, he had connected with that part of her.

Her engagement ending felt like a personal failure and she'd expressed as much to him. Her hyper-focus was too much for anyone to take and she knew she was guilty of loving the work probably more than she could love any man in her life. She put up walls, she was aware of it, and Taylor had hated that she couldn't take them down for him.