Kendra...
The familiar sound of sneakers against hardwood floors and cheering voices filled the auditorium. I was at one of Kyle's games. I hadn't missed one since he started playing.
The boy that was on the court was different from the one at his old school. This Kyle was taller and faster than the one last year. He was more focused and seemed to be more aware and in tune with the game he was playing. He was getting better and better at every game.
I watched as he ran after the opposing team member and effortlessly take the ball from him, dribbling down the court as soon as he did.
"Go Kyle!" I screamed at the top of my lungs
I would have added, "That's my baby!", but Kyle told me not to do that anymore.
Yes, I was one of those mothers, and I had no shame.
When he was a few feet away from the basket, he stopped and took a shot. Our section of the bleachers erupted with cheers when the ball went into the net.
"Wooooo!" I screamed as loud as I could
There was a high possibility that I would wake up with no voice tomorrow.
The buzzer went off indicating the first half of the game had ended. My boy and his teammates were in the lead. As the teams made their way to their respective benches, Kyle scanned the bleachers looking for me. Once he found me, he grinned excitedly. I sent a grin right back his way, mouthing "good job". His face lit up at my praise before he headed to the team and coach.
His behavior had begun to change after the suspension. Maybe that was what he needed to keep him in check. I hadn't gotten anymore calls about fights, which I assumed meant the bullying had stopped. He hadn't said anything, so I have to stick with that assumption for now.
Even though he was getting better, I could still see that he felt uneasy and confused. I don't know for sure what it's about, but I would get to the bottom of it. I would do anything to see my child happy.
I felt my cell phone vibrate inside my jacket pocket. I pulled it out and saw that it was a text from Eli.
"How's the game going? Is he kicking butt?"
A smile appeared on my face.
He had exchanged numbers at the Halloween party and have been texting regularly ever since. The conversations were strictly friendly, we were friends talking about normal friend things.
Well, there may have been a time or two when it had gotten flirty, on his part. But I had ignored it. Partly because I thought I was reading it all wrong and because I may not be ready to face all those feelings again.
My heart rate would quicken whenever I get a text from him. I get nervous whenever I saw him walking around the office. All he had to do was look at me and I wouldn't feel like myself.
I felt this before, with Kyle's father. I had jumped right in, thinking there was no way these feelings could mean something bad. And we all know how that turned out. What if this was the same? What if things turned out just as bad with Eli? I wasn't ready to find the answer, and that's why I had to keep whatever I was feeling inside me. I can't let the emotions take over. It wasn't just about me, it was about Kyle too.
But how was I going to deal with these feelings without acting on them? Ignoring them didn't always work. Maybe one day I'll get over it?
But for now, I lived in the feeling. I let that school girl giddiness fill me just a little bit. Sometimes I caught myself getting lost in it. Sometimes it's easy to get out of, and other times I just let the feelings run its course and indulge. I knew it was sort of dangerous to let myself think of him that way, but that tiny rebel in me just kept it going.
YOU ARE READING
Loving Wright
RomanceKendra Wright is a journalist and single mother to a preteen son. Her high school sweetheart leaving her to raise her son alone, has left her with a caged heart, and a promise to never be with a man like that again. Eli Carter, a photographer, run...