Chapter 4: Making Changes

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Kendra...

"Ah, you must be Kyle," Brian said as we walked into the mailroom

"It is," I smiled

"Welcome to the mailroom son," he greeted Kyle

"Thanks," my son answered

It was the beginning of the week, and Kyle's suspension had officially begun. There was no babysitter I could call, and leaving him home alone was definitely not on an option. So I talked to Brian, explaining my situation and asking him if he could have Kyle assist him for a week. Having a son of his own, he was happy to oblige.

Plus, in my commitment to help Kyle in any way I could, I did some research on fatherless sons. I read that any male figure in their life would be of benefit to him. So, I thought that maybe Brian could be one of those males. It may not work out, but I was willing to try.

I turned to my son "Be good and listen to Brian OK?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good. See you at lunch."

I kissed his curls and left the room. When I got to my desk, Iris was there waiting for me.

"How'd it go?" she asked

"He stayed without a fight."

"Good."

Over the weekend, I had told Iris what had happened and discussed how to get Kyle a male role model. I needed to vent, and I wasn't ready to tell my mother what had happened. There was no mention of Anthony and my past. I still wasn't ready to talk about that.

"So, what are you going to do?" she asked

"I don't know," I honestly answered "Being with Brian in the mailroom is only for a week. What am I supposed to do after that? Maybe I could let him volunteer at the mailroom more often? Or maybe I could talk to his coach? Is that weird? Talking to his coach about this?" I was rambling

"I don't know," she shrugged "I actually came up with something, but I'm not sure how open you are to it."

"What is it?" I asked eagerly

"Why don't you start dating?" she suggested "Find you a man that's daddy material."

I wasn't surprised by that suggestion. That thought had crossed my mind many times over the weekend. But it didn't sit right with me.

"I don't know," I began "Isn't dating to find my son a father kind of weird?"

"It's not just for him Kendra, it's for you too. You deserve to feel loved too."

"It's just don't know if I'm ready, or if I even want to."

After Anthony, I was against ever being in a relationship again. I became open to it again after some years passed, but it wasn't the same with a son. It felt different, unfulfilling, sometimes forced. I wanted that all to change when I came to DC, but I wondered if it ever would. Plus it didn't help that, now more than ever, men didn't meet my biggest requirement.

"How about we do it together?" she asked "You're not the only one who needs somebody."

I had only known Iris for a little while, but it wasn't hard for me to see that she was a hopeless romantic. She tried to play it down most of the time, but I saw it.

"We can be each other's wing-woman," she added, seeing that I was starting to consider it

Doing this with her didn't seem like a bad idea. Maybe having someone in it with me would make things easier.

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