Almost 13

Chapter 3: Music is Life

Marisol's POV

Current Mood: "Today was a Good Day" by Ice Cube

"Just wakin' up in the morning, gotta thank God

I don't know, but today seems kinda odd

No barking from the dog, no smog

And Momma cooked a breakfast with no hog

I got my grub on, but didn't pig out..."

MTV was my oasis, and it wasn't just about the music.  It was my connection to the outside world, beyond my very lame and very uneventful twelve year-old life.  When I wasn't in my room writing in my diary, I was watching MTV, perfecting my dance moves.

I had carefully closed the door to my parent's room and turned on the television to my favorite channel.  As I moved my body in jerks and thrusts, I dreamt about how people got to be extras on dance shows like the Top 20 Countdown and wished I lived wherever they were filming. I was watching the countdown, paying close attention to the videos and trying to imitate the smooth dance moves I saw on MTV. (I was teaching myself how to be less socially awkward.) Even though I had passion in my blood, I had never felt like I had the natural grace and coordination of my latin heritage.  I was struggling.

I moved in front of my parent's dresser to inspect my moves in the mirror.  It wasn't too bad.  It was hard figuring out what to do with my arms and I placed them above my head and focused on moving my mid-section instead.  It felt...awkward but looked OK.  I focused my attention back to the TV and watched the audience frolicking around.   I didn't care that I didn't have anything in common with the bikini-clad girls bouncing across the screen with their boobs dangerously close to escaping. I was going to learn to dance because the music I was hearing made me feel alive.

My motivation to learning how to dance had come from one of my many socially awkward middle school encounters.   I always thought I was a pretty good dancer until one night in seventh grade when my sister and I went to the local rec center. My sister, Susie, had gotten invited to go dancing there and since my parents were overprotective, they explained to Susie she would only be allowed to go if she took me with her.  My sister rolled her eyes but agreed.  I rarely had plans on Friday nights so I was ecstatic!

One Friday out of the month, the local rec center held a teen night called "Friday Night Lights" where for a cheap price of ten dollars a kid, parents dropped off their teens and got rid of them for several hours. It was basically glorified babysitting. My parents shoved five dollars in our hands for snacks and warned us to avoid getting into trouble. It was the closest thing to going to a real party (I was never invited) and I couldn't wait to get inside! Teenagers from all over town attended Friday Night Lights and I was in heaven.

Once inside, I watched my sister connect with her friends.  

"Don't leave the building!" Susie instructed me like I was a toddler.  "I'm going to hangout with my friends."

I shrugged and watched my sister disappear into the crowd.  I didn't really expect her to hangout with me but I was hoping she would at least let me tag along.  Oh well.  I looked around and inspected my surroundings.  The place was packed!  Kids gathered on the main dance floor which was some sort of exercise instructional area during the day.  I could picture ladies in bright pink and blue leotards doing Jane Fonda moves.  I laughed at myself.  The lights were dim and the music was loud.  Colorful lights flickered on and off with the beat and I nodded my head with approval.  I found a couch and sat and watched some kids play racketball.  The indoor pool was also open but I hadn't known and didn't bring a bathing suit.  There were kids everywhere.  Just as I was settling in, getting ready to spend the night people-watching, my thoughts were interrupted.