Almost 13

Chapter 2: Summer Dreams

Marisol's POV

Current Mood: "Creep" by Radiohead

"You float like a feather

In a beautiful world

And I wish I was special

You're so f@ckin' special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here..."

The next day I still couldn't shake my thoughts about kissing. Would I have a chance to kiss anyone this summer? It was doubtful but I guess it could happen. I was hanging out in my room, listening to music and decided to try and write in my diary again. I wanted to write down about my very confusing but exhilarating encounter with Jason Phillips...

I had gone the entire year of sixth and seventh grade without ever talking to Jason. Then, three days before school let out, I had a chance encounter with him and my mind and feelings were a mess.

I usually took the bus home but that day, we had been let out early and I think I had to wait for my Mom to get out of work before she could come pick me up. My sister Susana was somewhere inside hanging out with friends.

Anyway, my friend Amy was a bubbly, busty blonde with a loud, snorting laugh and tons of friends (especially guys). I had known her since third grade and she never had an awkward phase - if Barbie and Dolly Pardon made a baby, it would have come out looking exactly like Amy.

Amy and I were sitting on the benches at the front of the school, sharing secrets and laughing when two boys from our grade approached us - and holy crap it was bad boys times two - Anthony Hoffman and Jason Phillips.

Anthony was big and intimidating with pale skin and gelled back, black hair. I always thought he might be cute if he smiled but he never smiled. I avoided contact with him.

Then there was Jason. A full head shorter than Anthony but such a popular bad boy. Jason had piercing blue eyes that always looked like he was up to something. He was charming as hell and cussed a lot so naturally, I was terrified of him too. So, when he suggested Amy and I walk over to the elementary school with him and Anthony, I hesitated while Amy shot up and grabbed my arm to lead the way. I felt giddy and excited to be in their company. Amy was eons cooler than me in middle school standards and I would have never been asked to hang out with the boys if it wasn't for her. I silently thanked baby Jesus for her friendship and also for being allowed to wear breezy shorts on the last few days of school because otherwise, I would have overheated.

It only took us a few minutes to walk next door to my old elementary school and we headed to the playground. Amy was walking with Anthony and she was pulling his arm to hurry up so they could go to the swings. He didn't seem to hate it but looked a little unsettled by her power.

I nervously walked with Jason in silence and anxiously  twirled a lose strand of hair. Great. My friend abandoned me.

"Um, OK..."Jason remarked stopping and turning to me. "Monkey bars?"

I nodded and felt silly yet so exhilarated to be at the playground with him. My mind was starting to relax. Jason wasn't so intimidating, he was a dork just like me! Completely harmless...Then, something happened that I didn't understand. I went to grab the monkey bars and while my arms were lifted over my head, Jason suddenly came up behind me and ran his hands from below my bra line all the way up to the top of my chest! I was paralyzed. I couldn't process what happened and wasn't sure how to react. So I didn't. I wanted to run away but instead, I decided to act like nothing happened. I remember thinking - ohmygodohmygodohmygod. I just got felt up! I had never been felt-up and I was confused as to how I should feel. I tried to breath normally as I jumped off the monkey bars and onto the wood chips below. Jason landed like a gazelle next to me and I tried not to look like I was about to explode. My insides were screaming. I looked down at my feet kicking the wood chips. I could feel Jason staring at me, waiting for me to say something.