Besides You

Dear Mom

Dear Mom

I am not someone that's perfect

I am not a human without flaws

I am not me without my mistakes

I am not like anyone who wishes a thousands times to be the child you aspire me to be

But mom I am tired

I am tired of hating myself because you hate me

I am tired of hearing that you wish I could be as smart as you

I am tired of listening to you complain that I am not the girl you raised

I am tired of arguing every week

But mom why can't you love me for me?

The girl that has such passion to write stories

The girl that won awards for playing sports

The girl that knows all the songs you hear on the radio

The girl that her younger sister looks up to

But mom why can't you hear me?

When we yell at each other why do you twist my words?

When you say you love me is it a lie?

When you call me names do you want to see me cry?

When you tell me that my life should be all happy and loving but then why do I get hurt the most?

This is how I picture the daughter you always want me to be

She gets the grades yet no time to herself

She is the thinnest yet doesn't get the guys

She is the one that doesn't say a word yet her body is screaming for her to

She is everything yet unhappy

But mom do truly see me?

See me work hard when you always seem to mention that I don't do enough

See me being happy with the guy I've fallen for when you say he is distracting me

See me grow as person when you say that you hate who I've become.

See me tell you that I am not okay when you say that I am overreacting.

When am I going to be enough for you?