Sorry You Had To Bleed

Chapter 12 - White Lilly

          Her picture-frozen face was staring into my eyes as they watched me move and blink. The candles surrounding her frame were getting blown out by the wind, and the smoke crossed her face before it vanished into the foggy surroundings. Sarah committed suicide. I didn't expect it, I don't think anyone did. I didn't know how serious her mental health state was, because I sat back and expected her to be fine. How could I not see the signs? How blind and ignorant must I have been to glimpse over her cries for help? If there was a rock bottom, I might have just brought a pickaxe with me. 

          Daniel stood there beside me and saw what I saw, felt what I felt, and did what I wanted to do. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He calmed himself down, but I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to even blink for minutes. The more my eyes were exposed to the air, the more the tears dripped down in hopes that they would moisturize my eyes. It looked like I was crying, and I don't mind it. I couldn't cry, because all I could do was stare. I felt Daniel's hands tense up beside me and his heart rate speed up all of a sudden. I look around and realize that everyone has gone off to their classes. It was just us outside, surrounding Sarah's memorial. The candles have blown out, and so have our spirits. "Humans are complicated creatures," Fang said. He said it loud enough for me to jump. I almost forgot that no one else can hear him because I expected Daniel to respond in some sassy way. "What do you think happened?" Daniel asked me, not looking away from the picture.

          "I don't know," I said. 

          I heard the bells ring once more, finalizing the people in their classes. Daniel looked up and started walking toward the doors. "Don't you find it weird that no one gave you a second glance?" Daniel asked me. I thought about it for a few seconds, but I couldn't come up with a complete answer. "What do you mean?" "They would have known that you killed Bradly," he said under his breath, "but they didn't stop you. They didn't even pay attention to you." He said as he stopped and stood in place. "They probably didn't see me. Would you say that's luck?" "No, I think they have no idea what happened to Bradly." "That's impossible. Unless he got up and walked away before-" My insides turned stiff and my throat turned dry. The idea was rushing through my head at paces so fast that I started to panic. What if Fang released venom into Bradly? That would mean that he could have easily gotten up and walked away. All of his injuries healed and scarred. "Matt?" Daniel said as he waved his hands in front of my eyes. My focus came back into the real world and my thoughts went away with it. "Sorry, I got distracted." "Do you want to risk it?" He asked me. If he means going into the building and seeing if I get tackled by police officers left and right, then I might as well prance on back to his house. But, for some stupid reason, I agree. "Do you mind being beside me?" I ask him. He smiles and gestures me to follow him.

          We get to the entrance of the doors, and I take a deep breath. "Don't worry. Just follow me, okay?" He said to me. He held his hand out, waiting for me grab it. Hesitantly, I grabbed it and let it melt into mine. Our fingers almost interlocked, but I shifted it to where it was just normal.

          The doors opened, and I saw the people walking up and down the halls carrying their books and their bags on their backs. The sound of heartbeats fading in and out of the room as more people passed by. Everyone seemed so lugubrious and the air seemed thin. They paid us glances, and then went back to staring at their feet in hopes of not showing any interaction. Sarah's death really affected more than she probably thought it would. When people kill themselves, their reasoning is usually that they have no one that cares about them. The evidence that I'm seeing is making that statement sound more false by the millisecond. 

          "Do you want to go to class?" Daniel asked me. I looked at him and saw the worry in his eyes. His concern for me was heartwarming, but it also made me feel bad. "I'll be with you. I promise." "Let's do it."