Comfy Closets

8|| Chemistry in Chemistry

Well, all that hope was for nothing. It's been three days since I last talked to Leah back at the coffee shop, and let me tell you, my butt has been on the edge of the seat waiting for the moment she'll even glance at me. But alas, she hasn't as of yet, and now, my butt is starting to hurt. Figuratively speaking.

It was now Wednesday, and I couldn't be more done with school. I know it's a very typical thing to say, but today was particularly worse than others. For one, it was the middle of the week, when there's absolutely no motivation to do anything. Another thing, Gia was sick today and couldn't make it to school.

Ashton has been hanging out with the new guy, Zach, more often than us lately, so that leaves me all to my lonesome self today. Maybe I should just drag his butt to hang out with me. He must love me more anyways, I'm so adorable. Some would say as adorable as Pikachu, but maybe it's just because of the cheeks...

Finishing third period, I strode to the cafeteria, my steps quick with the urgency for food. After paying, I looked around the crowded cafeteria, doing a quick scan for Ashton with my tray in hand. As my eyes reached the centre of the room, they spotted the sight of my girls from the soccer team. Humming to myself, I contemplated whether I should just join them. It's not that I don't want to or never do, it's just I'm used to being with Ash and Gia at lunch, and it'd feel weird to break that routine.

Deciding to skip my eyes over them, I spotted Ashton a second later at one of the farther tables at the back and padded my way there. As I got closer, I realised the person beside him was no other than Zach, as expected, and I softly sighed to myself in resignation. Quickly approaching the table and taking my spot beside Ash, I said a quick 'hi' to them both in greeting. Ash returned a distracted 'hey' and Zach briefly smiled at me before getting back to their conversation.

Noticing that they were absorbed in their topic of discussion, I shifted uncomfortably and dug into my food, letting my thoughts wander and float away.

I will admit, I was a bit annoyed with how I haven't been able to talk with Ashton or have a real conversation with him since the new guy came. Yes, we have our morning drive to school together, but it just seemed like he wasn't making any time for us. I get it, he can have his own friends and choose to spend his time however he wants, but the three of us were a close-knit group and always have been, so I don't know what's changed.

In this moment, I let the feeling of loneliness seep into my heart, letting it settle there and sit in sorrow, physically affecting my posture as if weighing it down. In a room full of people, I felt so alone, so out of place. Dramatic, and needy even, I know. I don't like letting my emotions take over me and control me like that, but sometimes there were days where I inevitably felt this way and I couldn't do anything else but let it surround me like a dark cloud over a sad city.

Looking up from my empty plate, I noted that they were still very invested in their conversation, talking animatedly as rushed words spilt from their lips. And so not seeing any point in myself being there anymore, I decided to excuse myself from the table.

"Um, I'm going to head to the library and finish some stuff up. I'll catch you guys later?"

Ashton brought his divided attention to me when he heard my small voice and looked surprised, as if he'd forgotten that I had been sitting there the whole time. "Oh, okay. I'll see you later."

"Bye."

With my curt response, I walked away from them and into the empty hallways of the school. I let my head hang down, my gaze focused on my sneakered-covered feet as I let my previous thoughts and emotion consume my mind and worsen my darkening mood. My slow steps were sluggish as they shuffled along the floor, my body devoid of any energy to even lift my feet up from the ground.