Comfy Closets

3|| Accidents and Coffee

It felt like my heart just stopped for a second as the question left her lips.

I had no answer to give without giving myself away.

None of the girls knew of my attraction to the feminine sex. None. And I wasn't planning on telling them now.

Gia and Ashton were the only ones who knew, and those two were so close to me I could practically call them my brother and sister. Funny how it's my real family who still doesn't know...

Nevermind that. What could I say to these two? Oh, he's not my type. No that's weak, and they'd probably figure it out right away. As close as I was to these girls, I just wasn't ready to tell them about this. Their reactions could turn out bad. I didn't want to take that risk.

I've heard the stories, the things people whispered about to each other of the people in the Lgbt community - how they were ostracized, shunned, looked down on because of this one small fact. I didn't know if I could handle that.

But despite not being able to tell them, they meant a lot to me, and I wouldn't lose them over this.

It felt like we had been standing there for forever, but it'd only been seconds as they looked to me for my answer. My jaw clenched as my eyes darted between them, hands fidgeting with the hem of my shirt. I opened my mouth to give them whatever stupid excuse popped up and hoped to the bullshit gods that it'd be enough.

But as if the deities had been listening, they saved me when Lindsey spoke up first. "Cam, girl back down. She might just have some other boy already in her sights," she said reasonably,  winking hintingly my way. "And Conner isn't the perfect guy. He can be a douche sometimes when he's around the guys."

I felt my shoulders lose it's tense form as I breathed out slowly. That was so close. Too close. I nodded in agreement to her statement while Camilla raised a brow but didn't push the subject any further.

"Too bad most of the guys here are like that," the Latina grumbled sadly.

We reached the centre of the field and I happily separated from the two to avoid any talks about relationships.

When Coach called the end of practice, my teammates' forms slouched in relief as we sludged back to the changing rooms.

I packed up my gear and called out goodbyes to the girls before hastily heading out to my car, the conversation I had with Cam and Lindsey chose to keep replaying in my head. Analysing every sentence, word and twitch of a facial expression.

I should've felt glad about the outcome, but something still bothered me for some reason and I couldn't figure out why. I rubbed at my temple as the onset of a headache crept steadily forward.

As I started up my car, the radio that I forgot to turn off started blasting a song, the familiar indie rock tune blasting through the speakers. It's effects somehow overshadowed my headache-inducing thoughts, allowing the foot-tapping beat to wash over instead.

"I wonder what you'll wear tonight! The shiny black dress with the slit at the thigh? Is it such fantasy that I should think, someone like you could love a creep like me?" I sang along under my breath as I took a left turn at an intersection.

Hitting my digits along the steering wheel as if I was a drummer pro, my head bobbed like a maniac to the rhythm.

As I was in the middle of my dramatic concert for nobody but my windshield, I caught a glimpse of the street that stationed the coffee shop I worked at part-time. I made a quick decision and made a turn, thinking of treating myself to something before I headed home. Who knows, it might just help wipe out the last vestiges of this headache.