Tear You Apart

Somewhat Damaged

"Hey you're Devika right?" A tall blonde girl announced as I turned. I was in the administrative office at my new school getting my schedule.

"Just Devi," I replied giving her a glance. She wore a stark white tank top that exposed an inch or so of her midriff and an ankle length royal purple skirt. She gave off a hippy vibe.

"Leah will be showing you to your classes. If you have any questions she can't answer, come see one of us here in the office," the woman behind the desk said but I barely payed attention to her.

"We have the first three classes together so this will be super easy," her voice was pleasant as we exited the tiny room that smelled like copy paper and disinfectant to join the chaotic throng of students on their way to their first classes of the day. I kept my head down and avoided eye contact. My heart was thumping in my chest. I swallowed and ignored it. The anxiety would dissolve momentarily. Every emotion did.

"So where'd you come from?"

I appreciated Leah's attempt at small talk.

Don't bother trying.

Ignoring the purring voice in my head, I flickered my gaze up to hers. Her eyes were a friendly cornflower blue.

"Nowhere you'd recognize." I looked down at my checkered Vans. They had been a parting gift from my mother who was convinced she could buy my love after the divorce. It didn't work and I would never forgive her for leaving my father and I to figure out what the hell we were going to do without her while she traipsed around California with her rich boy toy. I wasn't stupid though; Dad could barely keep a roof over our heads. I wouldn't turn down the opportunity to retire my battered high tops and deceive the outside world that I wasn't a poor teenager trying to scrape by.

My father had gotten a decent job in this town and although it was hours from my childhood home, he couldn't turn it down. He had told me this was the fresh start we needed. I played along to save his feelings, but I wasn't convinced.

"Oh, well-"her tone was awkward and she fumbled to keep the conversation going.

"The past is the past right?" I threw her a line and mentally kicked myself. This girl was trying to be nice and I was already acting like a bitch.

"Hey, you don't owe me any explanation I get it," she threw her hands up before motioning to an open classroom. I followed her into a room that was obviously our first class. "So, this is Government. The teacher is this super anti-government anarchist dude ironically. Just go with whatever he says, and you'll get an A for the year."

I smirked as I sat down at the free desk behind Leah and shrugged out of my leather jacket and got comfortable.

"Lunch is after third period and you can sit with me and my friends if you want. We're theatre kids but we're pretty chill," she turned to face me momentarily with a grin.

She just wants to get dirt on you.

"That sounds great. Thanks Leah," I managed a polite smile just as Mr. Anarchist entered the classroom and jumped right into lecture. He glanced at me momentarily but said nothing. No formal introductions or standing in front of the class- perfect. I preferred to be invisible.

The next two classes were similar. I was able to stick by Leah and fade into the background of the room, occasionally someone would introduce themselves and I would exchange pleasantries. Nothing too bad.

Lunch was a different story.

***

We had just sat down with our food when a small group of teenagers broke the pleasant silence and sat around us noisily. I had to calm myself down as I was surrounded by strangers laughing at some unheard joke. My hackles were raised, and it took every once of self-control not to bolt like some small prey animal.