Tear You Apart

Reconciliation

It had been almost two weeks since I'd seen Leah's brother. The leaves that were beginning to cluster on the ground were shades of reds and oranges and as the end of October fell upon us, it brought with it a bitter cold New York wind and slate grey skies that hid the sun from view. The tank tops and shorts that were normally worn by my classmates were quickly packed away with the shiny red drop tops that Mommy and Daddy bought, to be replaced with hats and scarves and old beater cars that wheezed and groaned when they started up.

If Leah knew there was something amiss, she acted apathetic. She had even invited me to her house on occasion, but I'd blown her off and made excuses. I wasn't hiding from Judd- Devi Black didn't run away. But I needed the space. Those jade green eyes did something to me I couldn't comprehend. When I was around him, the comforting numbness that I was used to melted away and left me feeling vulnerable to emotions I wasn't used to experiencing. He jumbled my thoughts and made my lungs burn. It was as if I was constantly holding my breath and the moment he was near I could breathe again, gasping and eager to fill my body with his oxygen. It was nerve-wracking.

"How did I get talked into this?" I grumbled, adjusting the black corset dress that was restricting my breathing. The short black skirt frilled out around the middle of my thighs, the only thing covering them was a pair of fishnets and my combat boots. I'd pulled the cop look together with a silk tie that hung loosely around my neck, a shiny black utility belt that held a pair of black fuzzy handcuffs and an officer's peaked cap that rested on my loosely curled hair.

Thanks to Tallulah, the three of us were walking up to the Halloween party of Tallulah's latest crush; Leo, the guy who'd flirted with me during detention. He was eighteen and sold weed out of his parents' mansion and she was in love. Leo had personally invited her, and she had begged and pleaded for us to buy costumes and show up.

Tallulah was dressed in a tiny red and black Lolita style dress and a long maroon cloak, trying to pass as Little Red Riding Hood and Leah was going as Alice in Wonderland and was already nursing a bottle of Riesling wine. She was about as excited to be here as I was. I pulled out the bottle of coconut Parrot Bay I'd swiped from the grocery store and unscrewed the top to take a swig. The sweet flavor covered any taste of rum and while it was far from my liquor of choice, it was booze and would get the job done.

The scene before us was reminiscent of Leah's party, although this was on a much larger scale. There were bass speakers thumping loudly inside the house somewhere and you should smell the alcohol from the driveway. There was a pair of older girls standing in the grass dressed as black cats smoking cigarettes and giving us the side eye as we walked past.

"I'm so excited," Tallulah giggled giddily as she opened the front door, the sounds of the revelry within spilling out as we dove headfirst into the chaos inside.

Two hours and I was polishing off the Parrot Bay while laughing with Leah about a joke the boy in front of us had made. My thoughts were slow, and my body was warm from the alcohol. There were a few people I recognized but it was mostly seniors from school that we didn't know so we had carved out a little nook in the kitchen to sulk in. Tallulah was nowhere to be found and Leah was leaning into the boy, Ryan I think his name was?

"I'm gonna go find the bathroom," I murmured in Leah's ear over the loud music and wandered off. I needed a minute alone from their drunken flirting and my stomach was starting to churn.

Meandering upstairs and weaving through the drunken bodies of the teenagers littering the house I eventually found what I was looking for. It was relatively small compared to the rest of the house and contained a simple tub to the right, a sink immediately to the right, and a toilet nestled in the corner.