To Zion

6

I met Laurie in the middle of last school year. I'd noticed him before, but never really talked to him. He kind of avoided people as a rule.

And he wouldn't have talked to me at all, if I hadn't found him in what he thought was a compromising situation.

He was crying behind the school.

I had actually been searching for Miller, who I hadn't seen all day and was starting to worry about, but I couldn't just leave him there. Looking so alone.

He was smoking and crying, which really didn't look like it was going that well. I was hesitant at first, but decided the best course would just be to sit on the ground next to him, and hope he didn't tell me to go away.

His eye was black and swollen, and by the way he was holding his body, I think he had other injuries as well.

He father was homophobic. He assured me that usually he could handle it, but today was different. This time his father had caught him talking to a boy. It was just a normal, platonic conversation, but his father hadn't seen it that way.

Being in the foster care system, I'd seem a lot of children come from homes like Laurie's, and every time I talked to one of them, I never knew what to say. There was a way to get out of it, but sometimes the uncertainty of the future seemed worse than the hell of life at home. Laurie wouldn't here of reporting his dad.

I learned a lot that day that I would have never known about Laurie, and I decided then and there that I would try to help him as best I could. I would at least be a friend to him. But Laurie wasn't really the type to keep friends. He didn't know how I guess. He was constantly shifting between being open and friendly with me, and pushing me away completely, to the point that he wouldn't even acknowledge my presence, and avoided me like he did everyone else.

I didn't see him all summer, and when he came back to school, he was an older, bitter, and more reserved Laurie. When he wasn't high out of his mind, he was so low that he could barely haul himself to school. His grades dropped rapidly, and at this rate, he was either going to drop out, or have to retake this whole school year.

I had seen so little of him this year, that Cooper didn't even know who he was, when he came up my table, and asked if he could eat lunch with me. I was still buzzing with excitement after yesterday's lunch with Jason, that I didn't even notice Cooper's face when Laurie joined our table.

"He smells like weed." Cooper whispered, though not very quietly, into my ear, his nose wrinkled and his tone judgmental.

"And how do you know what that smells like?" I whispered back, very quietly, before turning to smile at Laurie.

"It's been a while." I told him, and his smiled apologetically.

"Yeah...sorry about that." He never really explained much. I was probably his closest friend, and I didn't feel like I could press many subjects. I wondered how lonely he felt in this crowded lunch room.

"That's ok. I'm here whenever you need me. This is Cooper, by the way."

Cooper looked over at the taller, thin boy, with his dark hair, and bloodshot eyes, and for a second I thought he was going to talk to him the way he had whispered to me. But there was a different look in Cooper's eyes now, and he smiled easily at the boy.

"Nice to meet you."

"Yeah. You too." Laurie spared him a short, but not indifferent glance, before turning back to face me.

"I got a job. It's not much, only part time, but it's enough to get me hoping again."

"Laurie, that's amazing." He smiled, and this time I think I saw a spark of pride in his eyes. He might be failing in most people's eyes, but in mine, and in his own, he was making progress.

"Yeah..." He sighed, looking down at his hands. "It's gonna be a long time before I have enough money or anything..."

"But it's definitely a start." I encouraged him, and the blue eyes met that mine were filled with gratitude.

"I've gotta try and act more professional now, though. You know, show up on time, not smoking before I get there." He looked pointedly at Cooper, just to let him know that he had been overheard, and Cooper had the grace to blush slightly.

"It's probably really good for me though. Probably would help my grades if I stopped too." He looked slightly embarrassed to be telling me all of this in front of Cooper, but there was a new note of determination in his voice and face, and I think that made him push through the embarrassment.

"I know it will. That stuff makes you really stupid, and you are not a stupid guy, Laurie."

He blinked, and cleared his throat awkwardly, not quite knowing how to deal with why I had just said.

"Uh...thanks, Zion. Thank you." He added, with much more conviction, and I smiled at him again. I knew what positive encouragement could do. Knew too well what the opposite did too.

"I'll try to keep in touch with you more. Who knows, I might even show up to class more often." He laughed, and even Cooper cracked a smile.

"Miller will be glad. They don't like sitting alone during literature."

"Oh, yeah." He blushed slightly, and I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"I just mean, I've actually been to lost literature classes. I just, don't really participate. I'm kind of out of it most of the time."

Later on, I started thinking that maybe that has two meanings. Or maybe, with this whole secret admirer thing, I was just paranoid.