Tutor | J-Hope

Twenty-One

Tuesday evening, 5:05 p.m. in Hoseok's car
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"All the kids are depressed," Hoseok sang softly with the song that played in the car. I watched him, as he drove to his house.

My nerves were bouncing off the walls. In the first two minutes I sat in the car, I had already bitten off my nails. Hoseok kept telling me not to worry, and that he'll take me out to get my nails done when I'm ready.

"Ooo! I got a song for you," he reached over to the touch screen and clicked on a playlist, "songs about her". He scrolled a little before stopping on one.

"Why's the playlist called 'songs about her'? Do you like someone?" I asked him. The last question seemed to break my heart— no I can't think like that. He's hurt me. He just shushed me and told me to listen.

"Mirror" by Justin Timberlake started to play. I didn't really know what the song was, so I listened. I was now grateful that I had learned English over the summer.

The lyrics seemed to be directed to someone. The singer had feelings toward the other and realized that the other is the one. It was a soothing song for love.

As it died out, Hoseok turned down the volume, "We're here." He pulled into the familiar driveway, while my stomach turned.

He tried his best to rush me up to his room, but we were stopped.

"Hoseok? Honey where are you going?" An older woman came from the kitchen entrance. I'm guessing she is his mother.

They had very similar features, yet his were more masculine. She had glasses on the tip of her nose, and I noticed a piece of paper and a pen in her hand.

"I was just going up to my room, mom," Hoseok told the older woman. She nodded before clearing her throat and giving me a glance.

"That's perfectly fine, but may I meet this nice girl right here?" She smiled sweetly.

I stepped up and gave her a respectful bow, "Hi my name is Ka Y/n. My parents do business with the Kims."

"Ah, yes! I know your mother and father, old friends of mine. Y/n, do you plan on staying for dinner?" She asked nicely.

"I would—"

"We'll see mom. I got to do something first. We'll be back down in a while," Hoseok grabbed my wrist and ran up the stair with me. We entered his all too familiar room.

"Sit here and give me a second," he sat me down on his bed before running into his closet.

"Hoseok hurry up. I want to get this over with!" I groaned and threw myself back on the bed.

"I'm coming!" He had a piece of paper in his hand, as he left his walk in closet.

I opened my mouth with a chuckle, to be cut off by the angry boy, "Don't you dare just say I came out of the closet. We both know I'm straight." I pouted.

"Is that—" my breath hitched, once I noticed the paper.

"Yeah. Here you go," he handed it over.

I took the paper like it was the most delicacy thing ever. It was folded into thirds and stapled, because it had two pages. I assumed people have read it before because it looked refolded.

"Go ahead. I'm right here, and if you need to stop, you can," Hoseok said while placing a hand on my back. He scooted closer to me on the bed.

I took a big gulp before opening it and reading.

To my l̶i̶t̶t̶l̶e̶ favorite sister,
   Y/nie, if you're reading this don't be sad. Know that I'm in a better place. A place that reminds me of you— happiness. I'm a dumbshit, I'll admit it. You probably think how I left you in the worst time possible, but know that it was for myself. So that I could be happy.
  I hope you and little J are doing amazing. I love our family with all of my heart. I'm sorry I couldn't be there.
  I've had some secrets in the past. I was in a "relationship" if that's what you wanna call it, with Suzy. Bae Suzy to be exact. We hid it from everyone because of the fame. I want you to meet and talk with her, so I put her number below.
Another one of my secrets was what I was doing. I wasn't the perfect boy everyone had thought. I did some bad stuff, and it was all going to eventually lead to you guys. That was another reason I decided to go away. I don't want you following in my path. Please stay away from the dark side of the world and be my little sunshine.

I turned the page, as I hiccuped. Tears were silently flowing down my face. Hoseok's hand was rubbing over my back in a circular motion. My shaking hands held the second page. I took another deep breath in before continuing.

   Now to the main point— if you're reading this then congrats! I'm so proud of you! And Hoseok is a really fucking great guy. He's had that stupid little crush on you for years, that's why he always picked on you. I'll admit I was skeptical of you two together, but once I got to know him, it was like you two were meant for each other. I never want you to let him go. He really cares and loves you. You two will be the forever couple. I'm sorry for making him hide this for so long, but it was all my plan.
  I love you to the moon and back Y/n. I'll be by your side forever. Hell if you wanna know a secret, well, I gotta say it's pretty nice here. I'm playing with Juju right now too. Grandpa says he misses and loves you. So do I.
  Never forget me please. Don't copy my examples either. No matter what! I want you to talk out your problems with others and face them head on. I'll love you forever, you'll always be my annoying but fantastic little sister. And I ask you one more favor, give little J his letter too. I love you.
                         -your amazing, fun, loving, great, stupid, dumbass, handsome, ladies-man, unbelievably smart, older brother, Moonsoo♡
P.S give Hoseok a hug rn. And know he'll love you forever. Then read his letter if it's not too much.

I dropped the letter beside me, before jumping into Hoseok's arms. He caught me. I cried and cried. My sobs muffled by his shirt, as it soaked with my tears. I couldn't stop no matter what.

How could he have left me like this. Things said in that letter weren't true. What did he mean by the Hoseok being in love with me. What did he do that was so bad, that he did that to himself.

Memories of the day he went came flooding back. The damn gun that he owned was through away after the accident, but I'll never forget how it looked. How when I arrived home, I was greeted by police cars and an ambulance. The rushed me out of my yard before I could get to the house. I was pushed with my sobbing mother. My father looked like the life had been sucked out of him. That's when I got the news. I fell to the ground, probably causing a scene for the neighbors, as I screamed. Jaehyun started crying and ran into my fathers arms, but I just laid hunched over on the ground. I asked- no begged, for it not to be true. It was, and it was heartbreaking.

"Shh. It's gonna be alright," Hoseok, whom I forgot was there, ran his fingers through my hair. I slowly drifted off to sleep from exhaustion.

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Y'all I finally got the inspiration to write.

I'm sorry for not updating.

I also wrote a new book called Lonely Mate. Go check it out. I have 1 chapter up for now, but I am working on the second.

Anyways thanks, bye