I Don't Really Know...

Chapter 35: Low-Life

“Zoie!  I’m talking to you!”

 

I look up at my spanish teacher.  “What?”  I feel drowsy.

 

Infuriated, she responds, “I asked you a pregunta, señorita.”  I look at her accusingly.

  

“And I wasn’t listening.”  She widened her eyes.  One student gasped.  Rolling my eyes, I then stared hard at my teacher.  It wasn’t like I had said something completely, utterly rude.  At least I told the truth.  

 

“Señorita, come see me after la clase…” She retreated like a sinking ship to her desk, sitting at her desk and focusing on one little spot, her eyes frozen.

 

I plant both elbows on the surface of my desk and huff.  Is it possible to be angry and sad at the same time?  I’ve never really thought about that, I guess.  I feel angry right now, that’s a given.  It’s kind of strange, where I feel sad right now.  

 

My legs.  I feel as if I’m limping, as if...a permanent limp in both of my legs.  Making me feel like I should just bend over and fall.  Just bending my knees as if someone kicked me from behind, myself just folding over, like torn origami.  Just….plop.  Not getting up.

 

Just like Mila.  

 

For all I know, she could be on the moon.  In Russia.  Shivering in the North Pole.  

 

That’s all I know.

~*~*~*~~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She stares at me.

 

I stare at her.

 

She has a smile.

 

I have a frown.  

 

“Is there something bothering you?”

 

My spanish teacher’s beady green eyes stare at me, faking sympathy.  I shrug.

 

“No.”

 

“Are you sure?”  Doesn’t she realize she’s not going to get a peep out of me?

 

I pause, standing still.  Shift my backpack so my binder isn’t digging into my lower back.

 

“Yes.”

 

She looks anxious.  I deliberately sigh and look at the clock.

 

“You know, Zoie, you can tell anyone if you’re having any-”

 

“I’m good.”

I leave without another word.