I Don't Really Know...

Chapter 40: Hidden Videos

“Hi, um...my name is Mila Allen…”  The girl on the camera stutters, as I lay in the hospital bed that night.  I grin, knowing that she would be stammering often throughout these videos.

 

Why did she keep these video diaries?  What did they mean?  All I could do was ponder as I picked at the piece of tape, that had in marker, the initials MA with my fingernail, listening to her voice.

 

“...to make this video diary because...Well, first of all, I don’t like the word diary.”

 

Me neither.  I like the words video journal.

 

“Journal sounds better to me.”  I smile, my lips curling towards my cheeks, just the tiniest bit.  

 

“So...yeah.  I’ll be back tomorrow.  Oh, by the way, today’s Monday, August 28.  The first day of school, woo hoo.  Back to another year of non stop bullying.  Great.” She leans forward, covering the lens with her palm and the video ending.  

 

So the bullying’s been happening for a while, I think, jumping when I hear a nasty cough in the room next to me.  I press a button, taking me to the next day’s video.  Her hair is in a french braid, and her grin is pure and genuine.

 

“Hi camera!  What shall I name you, I can’t keep calling you ‘camera,’ of course.  You deserve better, don’t you think?” She taps her chin with her fingertips.  “Hm….Carl?  No, it’s way too weird to talk to a guy...how about...oh goodness, I can’t decide!” She exclaims, her mouth widening.  I giggle, not wanting to disturb any neighbors in the hospital.  

 

“Well, today was the second day of school...there was a new kid.”  My heart leaps.  She mindlessly twists a piece of hair between her fingers, biting her lip.

 

“I can’t remember her name.  But she’s in my art and science class.”  She gives the camera an evil stare.  “She also walked away when Vanessa and her little idiot group were confronting me.  Cheers to that.”  She held up her Coke can and guzzled down a few gulps, as I laid in the hospital bed, feeling guilty.  

 

“But whatever.  It’s not like I’ve ever been enjoyable to be with.  August 29.” The screen goes black.

 

Next video.

 

“Hey, I’m back.  I have some good news...well, and bad news.  Good news is, I...well, I think I made a friend.  An acquaintance, you might say.  It’s that new girl-I found out her name’s Zoie.  Zoie Linda.”  She pauses, and I look more closely at the screen to notice how pale she is, how her eyes are shiny.  Too shiny.  

 

“Bad news.  Two things.  One, I found out that I have to carry this around with me all day, 24/7.  My mom went rooting around my stuff, got this camera, and I ended up fishing it out of the trash can because I told her, ‘I didn’t know where it came from.’  Smart, huh?” She chuckles to herself.  “Two, got bullied again.  Can I really consider that bad news?  I guess I could call it, expected news.  Regular news.”  She shrugs her shoulders, sniffing.