Finding The Write Words

Chapter 31

In the time Virgil had been back at gran's house, his arms had barely stopped tingling. They even tingled with new writing in the middle of the night when they were supposed to be asleep.

He refused to read any of it until he was ready. And every time he claimed he was ready, the tingling would start anew and another wave of anxiety would overcome him.

He saw Dr Picani every week. The more Virgil saw him, the more he opened up. He talked about his parents, he talked about the loss and the depression, and when he got more comfortable, he talked about his soulmates.

He rambled for most of one of his sessions about how Roman was constantly singing some show tune or practicing for a musical - a musical he would undoubtedly have to drop out of now. About how Patton's eyes lit up every time he talked about one of the pets at work and was constantly hoping one of the cats they intook was hypoallergenic so he could adopt it without feeling like he was dying. About how Logan spent their nights curled up in that big, soft armchair, a book in their lap, and the way their eyes lit up whenever astronomy was mentioned or someone agreed to debate with them. And how they always won said debates.

"It sounds as though you're incredibly fond of them, Virgil," Dr Picani said softly at the end of one session.

He nodded, toying with the hem of one of his sleeves. "I love them, Dr Picani."

A gentle smile tugged at the corners of his lips and he tilted his head. "I know. I'm glad you know now, too. Enough to say it out loud, anyways. Have you considered reading what they've written to you yet?"

Virgil paused. He had considered it countless times, but every time he went to read it, he got nervous and backed out. Seeing the hesitation on Virgil's face, Dr Picani smiled again.

"That's what I want you to do this week. I want you to try to read it."

"Homework from my therapist?" he chuckled, rolling his eyes a little.

"You can call it that if you like. I'll see you next week, Virgil. You did good today. I'm proud of you."

Virgil sat in his bedroom, his laptop open on the mattress in front of him with his nearly-finished manuscript pulled up. He looked away from the screen and glanced down at his arm, at the sleeve of his hoodie.

What was the worst that could happen?

They tell him that they never want to see him again?

They wouldn't have written so much or so often if they never wanted to see him again.

He pulled up his sleeve.

And then his other sleeve.

Logan's writing, precise and neat, covered his left arm, and Patton's covered his right. And he knew that if he were to take off his pants, Roman's writing would cover his leg.

"Of course you're welcome here, Virgil." "Take all the time you need." Logan.

"Can't wait until you come home!" "Miss you!" "Loved the letter!" Patton.

He eventually pulled down his pants just enough to read the writing on his thigh. Roman's curling, looping script covered the entirety of his thigh.

"We don't blame you for what happened. I'm not mad at you. None of us are mad at you, and none of us hate you. Please come home."

Virgil's hair was awful. Before he could even consider being seen by them, he had to do something about the faded silvery white that the purple had faded to be. But he didn't have the money to go get it professionally done, so he settled on buying a box from the store.

Purple seemed too... dark.

He wasn't there anymore.

He wasn't at that point in his life, hiding away from everyone and everything. He was more open to the idea of opening up. What was a friendlier color?

He decided on pink.

A lovely pastel pink that Dr Picani absolutely loved. He fawned over it during their next session, his voice shrill and his grin wide as he obviously held back from squealing in happiness. Virgil laughed a little at his reaction, surprised that he wasn't uncomfortable or nervous with him anymore.

"I read what they wrote, Dr Picani."

"And what did they have to say?"

"That they can't wait for me to come home and that they're not mad at me."

"Do you think you're ready?"

He hesitated, chewing his lip in thought. "I think I am." And he was. For the first time in over a month, he was being honest with himself about them.

"Would you like to tell them that?" Dr Picani held out his pink gel pen, and Virgil took it after only a moment's pause.

He rolled up his sleeve, aware of Dr Picani's curiosity at the writings all over his arm, and he wrote, "I'm coming home."

The three of them agreed to come pick him up when they all had a day off from work and school. Gran had said she would gladly give him a ride, but Virgil insisted that she didn't have to.

Patton drove, with Logan in the back seat and Roman in the front. When they pulled up to gran's house, she stepped out of the house. Patton parked the car and glanced a little nervously at Roman and Logan before stepping out. They followed him and the three of them together walked up to gran.

"Are you Virgil's grandma?" Logan asked.

"I am." She smiled softly, extending a hand, which they gladly took, shaking it firmly.

"It's nice to meet, you, I'm--"

"Wait. Let me guess." She released their hand. "Logan? And... Patton. And Roman." She looked to each of them in turn, and when she saw the surprise on their faces, she chuckled softly. "Virgil talks about you three an awful lot. I'm sorry for taking him away from you, I just... well, he needed time to heal. I hope you understand."

"We do," Roman said with a nod.

"Well, come in, come in. Virgil's just finishing packing up his things." She led them into the house and pointed down a hallway. "His bedroom is right down there. I'll be in the kitchen if you kids need anything."

Virgil froze when they entered. His eyes lingered on Roman, on the sling his arm was in, and eventually, he looked up at his face. At the warmth in his smile. At the way his eyes lit up at seeing Virgil. And he looked to Logan, at the small, hesitant, nervous smile that twitched at the corners of their lips. And at Patton, at the way he was bouncing on his feet, very obviously restraining himself from running to Virgil.

"You dyed your hair," Logan noted softly.

Virgil nodded, tucking his bangs behind his ear. The four of them stood in awkward silence for a moment, millions of questions and words left unsaid, before Virgil cleared his throat, looking away from them. "I don't have very much, but if you guys want to start grabbing--"

Patton cut him off, running up to him and hugging him tightly. Virgil froze again, gasping softly as his eyes widened.

It had been so long since he had felt the touch of another person.

Gran gave her love in forms of smiles and gifts. Not hugs.

Tears pricked in Virgil's eyes as he basked in Patton's warmth, and within an instant, Roman and Logan were on either side of him, wrapping their arms around him as well.

He broke.

His breath came in shuddering gasps as the tears spilled over, a grin spreading across his face.

They were perfect.

Everything about them was perfect.

He loved them, and they weren't mad at him. They didn't hate him. They loved him.

It was...

Perfect.

Logan pressed a kiss to the top of Virgil's head, whispering, "Let's take you home."