My Life with O2L

Chapter 9

I woke up at the crack of dawn. Somehow, I could sense his presence in my room without opening my eyes. It sent shivers down my spine. I allow my eyes to flutter open. I scan the room. There he is. Standing in the corner of the room. I curl into a small ball, hoping that he'll leave me alone for now. But, of course, he doesn't. He never does.
"Well," my stepdad's words slur. He's clearly drunk. What else is new? "You thought I wouldn't find out?"
I whimper. I know exactly what he's talking about, and I know my punishment. I went out with Mom last night to the movies. But Derek didn't like when we did things like that: just me and her. Apparently, I'm a distraction from him.
I curl up in a smaller ball, and whimper, allowing a few tears to slip out of my eyes. He's going to hit me, I just know it. Then later, I'll have to tell Mom that the neighbor kids did it or something.
Derek grins, in spite of my fear. Even chuckles a little. "Honestly, kid. You'd think you'd be used to this by now. Ya see, you do something wrong, and I take care of it. That simple. It's a routine. Adjust."
Then he walks toward me, and drags me off the bed.
"No." I beg. "Don't! No!" But he hits me anyways. And he keeps on doing it. No matter how much I beg, plead, or scream, he just keeps hitting and kicking.
When he's finally finished, I can't move. It hurts so bad. There's blood. Bruises.
Derek spits on me. "That's what you deserve you useless piece of shit. Now, clean up this mess before your mother gets home from her morning shift."
With that, he kicks me one final time, and leaves. All I can do is scream and cry. What did I ever do to deserve this? I'm innocent! It hurts so much. I close my eyes and let it all out; blood curdling screams. All I can do is hope that someone will hear me, and try to save me.
When I've let all my screaming out, I begin to sob. That's when I hear the voices.
"Alex, wake up."
"Come on, wake up. You're okay."
"Alex, it's just a dream."
There are people here to save me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My eyes dart open. Tears are streaming down my face. I don't even know who's in my room, but I lean into the nearest person.
"Shh. It's okay." He says, rocking me. It Jc. "It was just a dream."
"No!" I yell. "It's not! It'll never be just a dream!"
I scream. Tears flow down my cheeks. By now, all the guys are in my room.
"You're safe now." Jc argues. "I'm here to fight off the monsters."
I feel the guys patting my back, hugging me. I hear words. My brain doesn't really want to comprehend what's going on around me. It's still stuck in the dream.
Eventually, I've calmed down enough. I pull back out f Jc's embrace.
"I'm sorry guys," I say, calming my breathing.
"No, don't be." Ricky says, sitting next to me. "You had a nightmare. You want to talk about it?"
I shrug. "It was the normal. Before my Mom died, Derek abusing me."
There were sympathetic looks all around. I hate it, but at the same time, it's nice to have people that care.
"What time is it?" I ask.
"Two thirty a.m." Kian says. "But that doesn't matter. Are you okay?"
"Yeah." I nod. "You guys can go back to bed now. But, um, thanks for caring."
"We're here for you." Trevor says.
Slowly, they start filing out of my room. Jc stays behind.
"You want me to sleep in here with you? Help fight your stepdad?"
I smile faintly, my shake my head. "No. I just need some time alone."
Jc nods. "I understand. But if you need me, you know where I am."
He kisses my forehead, gets up, and leaves.
As soon as he's out the door, I fly to the bathroom. There's one object I go to for comfort during these times: my blade. I feel so much better with its weight in my hand.
You see, Derek was right. I'm a useless piece of shit. I press the blade to my left wrist. Slowly, I drag it, leaving a long cut. It's not deep, but it bleeds decently. I do this seventeen times. One for every year of my existence. I wrap the cuts like last time, and clean the evidence.
Suddenly, I have a claustrophobic feeling in my stomach. I pull on one of my sweatshirts and go up to the roof. The night air is relaxing. I sit on the edge in my normal spot. This is what I needed.
For the next few hours, all I do is stare out into the night as if slowly changes into morning. It's chilly out. As the sun starts to rise, I go inside and fix me some coffee. Then I head right back up to the roof.
I'm sitting there, sipping my coffee when I hear the door behind me open. I don't bother looking back at who it is; I already know. A faint smile plays on my lips.
"Hey," Sam says, hesitantly. "Mind if I join you?"
I pat the spot next to where I'm sitting. "Sure."
I feel him smiling. "Thanks."
He sits and takes my hand in his. I feel myself blush and take another sip of my coffee. We sit in silence. At least until Sam brakes it.
"Are you okay?" He asks, turning to me. His eyes are filled with concern.
I sigh. "I'm fine. It's just like any other time I've had the dream." I shrug it off.
Sam looks at me. "That's not what I meant." He shakes his head and sighs. "I can't help but feel like the dream was my fault. I kissed you and started this whole "possible relationship" thing or whatever you wanna call it. I didn't consider your past with your Mom in a bad relationship and things going downhill. And I came along and just freaked you out and-"
I cut him off with a kiss. He was startled at first, but he slowly kissed me back. I started to get all warm and fuzzy. My hands went around his neck, his arms around my waist. The kiss started getting intense. After a while, I pulled back, pressing my forehead to Sam's.
"It's not your fault, Sam. None of it is."
I lean into his chest. I feel his warmth radiating of his skin, his heart pounding.
"What's going on with us, Alex?" He asks, clearly just as confused as I am.
I sigh. "I don't know, Sam."
We sit in silence, until we hear the door to the roof open. Both of us whip our heads around. It's Kian.
"Hey guys," he says, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. "Am I uh-"
"No, Kian. You weren't interrupting. Right, Sam?" I say, getting up.
"Right," he says, standing.
"Sure," Kian says, winking at us. "I won't say anything, don't worry."
I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. My lips form a small smile. "So, what's up, Kian?" I ask.
"Well, the guys are looking for you. You have that video with Trevor today. And Jc wanted to run some plans by you for tomorrow night."
"Okay! Sounds cool," I say, looking between the two of them. "Is this where I leave and you guys have your 'bro talk'?"
Kian nods. "That would be exactly right."
I grin. "Okay."
I leave the two of them up on the roof. My first stop is the kitchen. A girl has to have her coffee. Especially, if she hasn't slept since two something in the morning, and even that sleep wasn't really sleep.
But, when I go in there to get my coffee, the guys, with the exception of Sam and Kian, are lounging around the kitchen. Jc, who was sitting in the counter, engulfed me in a hug.
"You feeling better?" He asks, concerned.
"Yeah, I guess." I say shrugging.
"Did you manage to go back to sleep?" Trevor asks.
"Look at me and think about what you just asked." I said, smirking. "Does it look like I got any sleep?"
We laugh.
"Oh snap!" Ricky says. "The sass is real!"
This results in another fit of laughter. I fix myself another cup of coffee, and sit next to Jc on the counter.
"So, Trevor," I start. "What are we doing today?"
"I was thinking we could do the sibling tag."
"Which one?" I ask. "Normal or messy?"
Just then Kian and Sam walk in.
"Girl, you two better be doing the normal version cause I already wanted to do the messy version!" Kian yells.
Everyone laughs. "Normal it is," Trevor said.
I turn toward Jc and bump into his shoulder. "What about you?" I ask. "You have plans to run by me?"
"Yeah," he says. "I was thinking about throwing a party either tomorrow night or Sunday night in your honor."
"Well, I have plans Monday at noon, so I say tomorrow night."
Jc laughs. "Okay. But what plans do you have for Monday?"
"Oh!" I shout. "I never told you did I?"
He shakes his head. I explain how on Tuesday I met Jenn at the mall. Then about how she texted me and made reservations on me for noon.
Jc nods. "Sounds good. She's probably going to introduce you to Andrea and them, if you don't meet them on Sunday when we throw the party. But it's good that you have a girlfriend and you aren't completely engulfed in guys."
I nod. "You guys have already cause me so much stress over this past week. I even got my first gray hair!" I wink at him and we laugh.
"What's so funny?" Ricky asks.
"Nun-ya!" I respond.
Ricky pokes out his lower lip. "Please bestie?"
I laugh and roll my eyes. "We were talking about Jenn. She's kidnapping me on Monday."
Ricky nods. "When you two become amazing friends, don't forget the guy who introduced you."
I smirk. "Ooh. Jealous Ricky? Worried Jenn will be a better best friend?"
"No!" Ricky says, getting defensive.
I laugh. "Don't worry, Ricky Manaj. I won't forget who my real best friend is."
I wink and hop off the counter. I place my dirty coffee cup in the sink.
"Hey Trevor," I say. "I'm gonna go get ready for the video, okay?"
"Okay!" He says, then continues his conversation with Kian and Sam.
I go upstairs and hop in the shower. Then I put on a cute crop top that says, "To Die For<3" with a pair of jeans that have ripped up holes in them. I cover my cuts with a glove that comes up to my elbow. Just in time too cause Trevor barges into my room.
"Alex! Come on! It's Trevor day and you are wasting precious time getting ready!" He puts his hand on his hips and gives me his best 'I'm disappointed in you' face. But we both end up laughing.
"Well," I say. "I'm ready."
"Then come on!"
Trevor grabbed my hand and took off, dragging me behind him. "I already set up!" He says.
We get to his room and he sits in front of the camera. Trevor pats the seat next to him.
"Sit!" He says. I comply. Then he gives me a dramatic look. "Are you ready for this?"