Keske Moments

I'm okay and we are okay.

Can: How about we order some room service? I think we should eat and take some time to be together relaxing. Tamam?

Sanem: Want to watch a movie after?

Can: Absolutely but I get to sleepover. All I need is you in my arms.

Sanem: You sure you still want this crazy?

Can: I wouldn't change it for the world.

_____________________________________________________________________________

They spent the rest of the evening cuddled up in bed watching the movie. Can was falling for her all over again but deeper. He saw her heart. He saw her spirit and love for all things. They woke up in each others arms happy to be together.

C: Gunaydin.

S: Gunaydin.

C: Thank you for letting me stay.

S: Thank you for wanting to stay. I mean I know this can't be easy.

C: Sanem when will you understand?

S: Understand what?

C: I might not remember our time together but my heart remembers you. My body remembers you.

S: What do you mean?

C: Being here with you feels right. It feels natural. I want to be here. I need to be here. I want you.

S: I want you too.

Can looked at her lovingly and leaned forward to kiss her. She waited to respond almost nervous she was dreaming this. Things became deeper. He pulled her closer, wanting to feel her body against his like the missing puzzle piece he knew she was. Perfect for him in every way. Sanem was taking all of it in. The kiss, his hand on her back and the other caressing her cheek. She missed this so much. They both were out of breath and put their foreheads together.

C: Can I tell you a secret?

S: Of course. Anything.

C: I've been keeping something from you. From everyone really.

S: What is it?

C: I think I'm starting to get some of my memories back.

S: Can thats--

C: So far they are just flashes. So I don't want to get too hopeful. But I keep finding myself in de ja vu moments with you. It's small but I remember things we did. Like me catching you when you almost fell on our hike. You're stories that you told me. I know it has to be memories because it wasn't written in your book.

S: That's wonderful.

C: You are the cure. Us being together. I need you to know that I am here because I want this. I want to wake up with you. Hold you in my arms and forget the world exists. Okay?

S: Okay! I'm in.

C: I would like to know more about us if that's alright. I mean stuff outside of the book.

S: Such as?

C: Such as, did we go on many dates?

S: Um yes and no.

C: Yes and no?

S: Well we dated in secret for a long time before anything was official that I guess most dates were fleeting moments at work etc. I wasn't really ready to tell my family because of their traditions and mainly because I had lied to you.

C: I'm sorry it was like that. I am surprised I was okay with keeping it a secret. I feel like I would have wanted to shout it from the mountain tops.

S: Oh you did. I mean you wanted to. I pushed you to keep it a secret but you hated that. I know you don't remember but back then everything was so new for me. For us really. I was incredibly naive and didn't think we would ever actually be together. Also you had this reputation as being the adventurous traveler who didn't settle anywhere. The handsome photographer with a gypsy like lifestyle. And anyways I never had really that kind of male attention before.

C: I highly doubt that. You are stunning. Any guy can see that. Maybe you weren't noticing them until me. (He gave his million dollar grin for her)

S:(She blushed looking around) So...any other questions for me?

C: Absolutely. I want to know everything. So next question for you... What did we like to do together?

S: We were happy doing just about anything together. Going to the park, walking by the water, being out in nature. Anything really movies, books, eating, we always found something we both enjoyed. I think we just enjoyed it because we were together.

C: I want to be by your side all of the time.

S: Me too.

C: Can I ask more difficult questions? I don't want to go to negative but I want to understand more.

S: Okay, shoot.

C: I know we had difficulty with Fabri and others but your book didn't mention too much about Polen or Huma. I know I don't have much of a relationship with them now. I spoke with Emre and he filled me in on some of the reasons why but I would like to hear more from you if that's okay?

S: Okay. I guess we could talk about it. So Polen and you're mother were close. To be honest I don't know a ton about your relationship with Polen other than it lasted a long time although you saw each other rarely. As far as I knew you both separated and she wanted to get back together. When we broke up Huma had told her to come back and try to get back together with you. We weren't really in a good place and I got jealous which made you angry and when I had decided to work on my book with Yigit you were also jealous. We never could shake that feeling of belonging to one another. Before too long after that you left. I had assumed you left with her but after I saw you when you came back you told me you guys weren't together.

C: I remember breaking up with her. When I was starting to fall for you.

S: Really?

C: I remember how guilty I felt calling her. Like in some sense I was cheating on you by calling her. When really I was doing the opposite. We have always been close but I also knew her feelings for me would always be greater than what I could give her. I never felt that need for someone until I met you in that theater.

S: You know you are making these questions not seem so bad when you say things like that.

C: Well we are working our way back. I think it is important to understand what we have gone through as well as what I need to work on.

S: You don't have to do anything you don't want to.

C: I know that but I need you to know how committed I am to us. This is our love, our future. I will get back my memories and I will make sure we are together. Now I think we get to the hard part ...(Sanem stared at him in question) Huma.

S: Oh right. And here I thought things were going smoothly.

C: What is her involvement?

S: I guess you could say which time. For time sake I will summarize. She will never approve of me. I tried everything I could with her but I will never be enough for you in her eyes. I'm okay with it. My only regret is that I pushed you to try to repair your relationship with her. I never thought things would get as vicious as they did with her. She insulted my family, berated me at work, and pretty much made sure I knew I was trash. Can, I am saying these things because I don't care anymore. I don't hold on to the negative like she does. I can't do that and I won't'. So if you change your mind and want to start talking with her again. I won't stop you but I will also not be around her. I want to believe in others but I won't put myself through that again. (she starting crying now looking away from Can)

Can held onto her tighter breathing in her neck. He was trying to convey all the support, love, and adoration he had for her.

C: I promise you she is out of our lives for good. You will never have to deal with her ever again. Please forgive me for not doing more.

S: Can you did enough. Okay. I'm okay and we are okay.