Change (a Hayes Grier fanfiction)

Me

So at school people think that I cut. I do and well I'm not proud.

Only a couple people know like write_stories quill_and_ink13 and pageturner2

They are my closest friends and this is how I express myself. I am working on 35 so don't worry.

I write in a journal and I thought that I could share my most recent entry.

I love the feeling of the pressure of the blade. All the bad stuff inside me is ready to be released. The anticipation of the skin ready to be break and let the bad stuff escape.

I can be normal. I don't have any bad stuff inside me. I can be free. I can be me. No one stares. No one snickers.

Right before the skin breaks I can feel everyone's eyes on me. Ready for me to do it.

After I cut I feel so much better. I smile while the tear of despair falls onto the new wounds.

After about an hour the skin tenses up and I run my finger against the tiny mountains. That's what it feels like. I can't feel the actual cut just the tensed skin. After it tingles and feels funny.

It's saying thank you for letting the bad stuff out and letting me be myself.

Have you ever stood for hours, and when you finally sit down your body thanks you? That's how I feel when I cut. The skin closed for hours, ready to relax and thank me.

I don't regret cutting, I still don't, it's my escape. I wouldn't never give it up. My mind and body say yes to cutting.

That's why I do it.

I don't want anyone taking pity on me or telling me to stop.

I understand if you don't want to finish my book.

I bolded be yourself in the excerpt because that is my name on Wattpad, and well ya.

Cutting is my decision and no one can tell me to stop except me.

Thank you for understanding.

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- Bee_yoursellf