Her Broken Heart

4

Today's the day that I take Josie to school I'm scared no I'm terrified I'm just scared of seeing other men I mean what do I do when one of them gets too close or what do I do if I panic and have a panic attack right now I'm parked in front of the school I'm way too scared to get out of the car "mommy don't be scared I'll hold your hand"

"Ok let's do this" 

"Because we are a team"

"Exactly"

I helped her out of the car and slowly walked up to the school as I was walking I could see and hear everything I saw dads waving by to their kids and some of them walking their daughters to their classes once I got to the door I wave bye to Josie I started walking back to my car when someone pulled my arm I looked up to see a guy way too close I tried to walk but he blocked me from moving  "please leave me alone"

"I just want to talk"

I started shaking vigorously until he was pushed away from me I looked up to see Sebastian punching the guys over and over there was so much blood I rushed over to Sebastian and pulled him off "Please stop I'm ok"

he stood up and pulled me in his arms "Are you hurt"

"No, I'm fine"

He sighed in relief "What are you doing here"

"My brother couldn't take Lincoln to school today his wife was sick he had to take her to the doctor"

"Thank you"

"No problem I will protect you from anything no matter what"

"Why"

"Because your mine"

I got in my car and drove to therapy when I got there everything was so quiet I walked into her office and sat on the couch

"So how was it today"

"Well I took her to school"

"Something happened what was it"

"A guy tried to grabbed and I started to have another panic attack but I'm fine Sebastian pulled him away from me"

"Who's Sebastian"

"I met him at my daughter's get together and then yesterday he came to my house he told me he likes me but I told him I'm scared to be around men so we're starting as friends"

"That's a good start what if he touches you"

"I told him he's not allowed to"

"Mm I suggest that he come over every day for at least an hour that way you can get comfortable around men"

"I don't know"

"Just try it out"

"Ok"

"And you didn't tell me you get panic attacks"

"When a man gets too close to me I start to panic pretty badly"

"Hmm ok here's a prescription just so you won't get panic attacks so much"

"Thank you"

"Oh nonsense it's my job"

I walked out of her office and climbed into my car I drove home to see Sebastian sitting on the step waiting for me I walked up to him and sat on the step "What are you doing here"

"I just wanted to make sure you were ok"

"I'm fine"

"How was therapy"

"My doctor wants you to come over every day for an hour she thinks it'll help me not be scared of men"

"Then I guess I'll be here for an hour every day"

"You don't have to do this"

"I know but I want to"

"Okay"

"come on in" I stood up and unlocked the door

Once we were in the house I prepared tea and cookies I placed the tea and cookies on a tray with cups and napkins then walked out to the living room where he was currently sitting on the couch I sat the tray down on the table that was in front of the couch I handed him a napkin with a cookie on it and a cup with tea and a sugar cube I served myself then sat back on the couch "how about a game" he asked

"What kind of game I'm not too fond of games"

"Don't worry you'll like this game it's called 20 Questions"

"What if I don't have a question"

"Then questions and confessions"

"What if I have nothing to confess"

"Let's just try I'll go first what's your favorite color"

"Blue"

"What's yours"

"white why blue"

"Because blue means royalty"

"What's your favorite food"

"Cheesecake"

"I said food not desert"

"Fine macaroni and cheese what's yours"

"Do I get to tell you my desert since you told me yours"

"Fine go ahead"

"Pineapple pizza and believe it or not cheesecake is my favorite desert"

"Hmm ok on to the serious questions if you don't want to answer just pass or you're not ready to tell me"

"Ok"

"What are you afraid of"

"That it'll happen again"

"What will happen again"

"I-I-if I tell you you'll leave me"

"I won't I swear"

"The day I watched my best friend die is the same day my virginity was taken from me"

"What do you mean taken from you"

"I was raped."

"I didn't want it to happen I just went to the store for ice cream and I took a shortcut home I always take that same shortcut home but that day it was different when I walked down the alley I was walking and I heard a noise from behind I turned around to see what it was I just wish I didn't turn around when I did I tried to walk away but he caught my arm he slammed be against the wall he ripped all of my clothes and raped me over and over he licked every part of me I woke up in the hospital I was walking home and I found her fighting for her life faith she was dying she knew she going to die so made me promise to take care of Josie she was going to tell me Josie's father's name but she died before she could I still can't get his piercing green eyes out of my head that night when I got hope I scrubbed my body clean until it was red and sore I don't want that to happen again I don't want him to find me they never found the guy who did this to me they stopped looking"

He growled pulling me to him I melted into his touch and snuggled in his chest "I won't let anything happen to you or Josie I promise I'll protect you no matter what"

"What are you afraid of," I asked hugging him close to me

"I'm afraid to tell you the truth I don't want you to hate me"

"I won't I promise" he looked at me with uncertainty until he finally spoke