Flashing lights (phan fanfiction)

This is not what it is only baby scars - chapter ten

Phils P.O.V

I was perfectly fine with Maddi until Dan made an appearance with his new girlfriend, Caitlin.

Who just so happened to be maddies ex.

Maddi was helping me get over Dan but it just wasn't that simple. Every time she would mention video games or other things Dan liked I would just have a mental breakdown.

I still love him. It's all Zoe's fault that I'm where I am now. With a girlfriend, even though I'm gay but Maddi didn't care.

She was a lesbian but I don't think she cared that I was a guy. She probably just said she was who she is for attention or something because she is a bit of a player.

I'm only say that because of her attitude. And by the fact the she has dated heaps of guys and girls and played almost all of them.

I guess that's why Caitlin and Maddi are no longer together, because Maddi played her.

I can't help but feel sorry for Caitlin. Her and Dan have had to go through the same thing and I was the one who caused half of it.

I just think that seeing Dan today made me realise why I loved and still do, love him.

He still has his cheeky smile and his dark brown fringe swept across his face. His clothes haven't changed one bit because he was wearing the shirt I met him in.

The only thing that has changed is that, Caitlin is the one he loves and not me.

I should be the one holding his hand and kissing his lips but that's not how it is.

I'm happy with Maddi, but I know neither of us like eachother like I love Dan. We are together purely for comfort.

Except I think Maddi doesn't need it as much as I do. She could date anyone she wanted. but me, its a lot more difficult when your heart belongs to one person.

And that person is Dan.

Everything would be perfect between us if Zoe hadn't ruined it and she was right five years ago. She wanted to take away my happiness and she got what she wanted.

Maddi was going out with her friends tonight so I was home alone. She was probably hooking up with some other guy but I didn't care.

I had a shower and got dressed in a suit. This was the suit I wore to Chris and pjs wedding. It was About three years ago and it still fits perfectly.

I had brought a bunch of flowers earlier so I grabbed them out of their vase and I walked out the door after checking my hair one last time.

I was going to get my Dan back.

*at dans house*

I got out of my car and knocked on the familiar front door. I heard talking and shuffling then the door flew open.

Caitlin was stood there with a smile on her face. "Hi Phil, I'll get Dan" she bounced off into the house and came back seconds later with a Dan that I didn't know existed.

His hair was in its natural state, curly and messy, he had deep purple bags under his eyes and his clothes were extremely baggy.

"Hey Dan" he shook his head and started to cry and I think he became, angry?

"What do you want phil!" He shouted and held to door, ready to slam.

Time to spill everything and hope he doesn't hate me at least.

"I came to apologise. I want you to listen to every word without cutting me off because you need to hear the full story.

I want you to understand that I was forced to do what I did with zoe all those years ago and in no way, shape or form did I want to do what I did.

What I never got to tell you was that She held me at knife point and said she wanted my happiness. and my happiness is you Dan.

She told me to do those things because that would make you hate me and as a result, my happiness would be taken away and it was.

I don't want Maddi or anyone else. You are the one that I want, that I need, and what I love.

I don't think I have gone a single day without wishing you were by my side and whenever I think of you I break down, knowing I will never be completely happy unless I'm with you.

I love you Dan" I saw Dan start to cry and I noticed I was crying too.

Dan coughed and stopped crying. And the angry expression took over his face.

"Why now phil? I-I love Caitlin and you know we are together so please, just leave!." He slammed the door in my face as I stood there I shock.

Did Dan really just say and do that? I stumbled from the front steps and into the front seat of my car.

I could hear yelling and screaming coming from dans house and I just shook it off as I drove to the one place I can be at peace.

The cliff.