"I can't believe how long it took us to work out that song." She's perched on the chair with her legs crossed. I lift ingredients out of the cupboard. "Yeah we aren't normally that bad." I place the pasta and the herbs on the counter and move past her to the fridge. "I was a little distracted though." I stop and turn to face her. "Yeah?" She smiles and leans forward slightly. "Yeah." I crouch down and rest my hands on her knees. She tilts her head so that our lips are almost touching. Her breath is warm on my mouth. Neither of us move, both wanting the other person to close the gap. It doesn't take too long for me to get tired of waiting and I press my lips to hers. "What exactly was it that was distracting you?" She kisses me this time and when we pull apart she grins "Is it not obvious?" The temptation to kiss her more passionately, to forget about the food and just carry her into my room, is overwhelming but I try to ignore it. I really want this to be a romantic evening. "Oops sorry guys, I'm on my way out."
I stand up too quickly and push down on her knees. She winces and Kevin raises his eyebrows. "I do know that you guys have slept together." Kirstie takes a break from glaring at me to blush and look at the floor. "Yeah. I know. Um cool." He shakes his head and walks over to the fridge. Kirstie's rubbing her legs and frowning at me. "Sorry Kirst." Kevin smiles and she rolls her eyes. "You're in trouble now Avi." Kirstie laughs. "He's making me food so I suppose I might be able to forgive him." He grabs a bottle of water from the fridge. "Will you two please stop ganging up on me." Kevin shuts the fridge, winking at Kirstie. She laughs until she sees the exaggerated frown on my face. "Awww baby are you sad?" Her tone is teasing but she stands up and walks behind me, standing on her tiptoes and wrapping her arms around my shoulders. I reach around behind me and jab her waist. She squeals loudly and Kevin laughs. I pull her around my body until she's standing in front of me, still squirming in my arms. "Ok Avi I'm sorry."
I hold her like that until Kevin leaves. My hands are resting on her stomach and my thumbs are drawing little circles on her shirt. I take in the comfortable feeling it creates in me. The fact that the smell of her hair and the warmth of her body against mine make me feel safe and happy and calm. Once he's gone I turn her around and kiss her, keeping it sweet and gentle. Her palms rest on my chest and when I pull away she smiles. Part of me had wanted to keep the kissing to a minimum until we actually discussed things properly but that's a near impossibility. Ever since that kiss on the bus things have been different and there's no real way to go back. I'm quiet for too long and she starts to look concerned. "Are you ok?" I nod, moving my arms from around her waist and taking her hand. "Of course I am. Anyway, I should start cooking."
She insists on helping me even though I try to tell her that I wanted to do this for her. She starts to cook the pasta and I take charge of the salmon. We move around the kitchen in silence, both individually concentrating. The importance of the conversation that we're going to have later is weighing heavily on my mind. I wonder if her thoughts are similar to mine. We've admitted that our feelings for each other run deeper than friendship or lust but we haven't yet labelled our relationship. I don't want her to feel like I'm giving her an ultimatum but there's no way I can carry on with this. As much as it's amazing to be able to kiss her and sleep with her it's obviously not that sustainable emotionally for either of us. I want more. She finishes before I do and walks to stand behind me, wrapping her arms around my stomach. Her head lies on my back and she sighs. "It's nearly ready, don't worry."
Once the food is finished and on the table we start to talk again. First it's a joking review of the food which we actually did pretty well on. Then it's just aimless chatter about whatever we think of. I update her about my family and she tells me about the last phone call she had with hers. Conversation flows easily and I can see this a hundred times over. Sat in a kitchen, eating a meal we cooked together. Maybe in a kitchen we both share. Having a life together. Moving in together. Buying furniture. I'm craving all of the domestic things. I want to cuddle on the couch and watch movies. I want to wash dishes and go grocery shopping. I want everything with her. I can picture how she'd look on our wedding day or holding our child and I'm just so completely crazy about her that it's impossible to really think of anything else. "Avi. Are you alright?"
I make eye contact and she smiles almost nervously. "Yeah, I just need to say something." She nods and tucks her hair behind her ear. "Last time I tried to talk about my feelings I was kind of an asshole." "Yeah. You were." I grimace and she reaches across the table to squeeze my hand, smiling sympathetically. "I know. I don't want it to be like that this time. I just need to tell you that I love you. I am completely in love with you and I want to be with you. I've never felt this way about anyone before and so far it's mostly managed to make me stupid, but I honestly believe that this could be something incredible. You're the most amazing person I've ever met and even if you don't feel the same I just want you to know that." She swallows visibly and removes her hand from mine to dry her eyes. She opens her mouth and then closes it again. "Kirstie?" It only takes a second before she's in my arms. She clutches at my shirt and presses herself into my chest. I wrap my arms around her and lift her up into my lap, holding her tightly. "I love you." It's muffled by my shirt and I need to be totally sure. "What?" She looks up at me and smiles. "I love you."
I press my lips to hers as soon as she finishes speaking. The kiss is soft but not without passion and I love her so much that I can barely go a second without grinning. Her hands are warm on my skin and I guess we'll have to take care of the dishes in the morning because I need to be with her right now. She runs her fingers up my arms and leans in slowly to kiss me again. "My room?" She breathes out against my lips and then smiles "Your room." She's still in my arms so I shift her slightly and then stand up. She laughs and squeals, grabbing my shirt. "Don't worry, I won't drop you." "I know. You're a strong guy, I trust you." I carry her all the way to my room and place her on the bed, hovering over her. She looks up at me and rests her hand on my cheek, her expression serious. Everything in me slows down. I feel totally, completely content. Loving her isn't a desperate, rushed struggle anymore. It's a thousand more nights like this. Her in my heart as well as my arms. "I love you so much." She laughs but her eyes are staring into mine, filled with sincerity. "And I love you."
A/N: I know it's over a week late but it took me so long to write. It's done. It's finally finished and I'm actually really emotional about that. I posted the first chapter of this story 6 months and 3 days ago and now it's over. thank you to the people who've been reading and commenting regularly (ptxfangirl4ever, PTXPTXPTXPTXPTXPTX, Ptx_forever16, KLeemusicgirl, DAPHNEpentaholic, harperptxpowers and pentaholic007) there are also loads of other people who I get notifications from and I'd just like to thank all of you and say that this chapter is dedicated to you.
I'm still going to be writing Not Enough and it shouldn't be too long until the next chapter of that goes up. I also have a collection of Kavi oneshots and I'd like to say that I am taking requests for those so if anyone has any ideas then just message me or leave it in a comment. On the subject of messaging me I just want everyone to feel free to message me at any time if you want to talk ptx or fanfiction or Kavi or just anything really. It's been a pleasure writing this for you.
