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-48- Does He

Kendra Lincoln

I held on to him until Rhett came with the car. My pants are still damp from where I sat on the ground, cradling him close to me.

We took him to the hospital. We didn't know what else to do.

By the time we got there he woke up and as the hospital staff tried to get him through the doors he tried to bolt, wild and desperate. It was terrifying to experience Holt physically there but in his mind miles away, fighting his demons. We were all just innocent bystanders as he flailed and shouted and threw himself around trying to escape.

But the thing that haunts me most is witnessing them forcing him down and the cries that came from him.

The thought brings tears to my eyes as I sit beside the hospital bed he's in. He's peaceful, lying there, a drug induced slumber so strong that his demons can't find him here.

I've been going through his file while I wait for the drugs to wear off, my laptop open, searching everything for unwritten answers. I'm absolutely desperate to help him. For him to never go through this again.

The door clicks open to his room and I watch the entrance protectively. I don't know why I feel like everyone's an intruder, that everyone besides Rhett has ill intentions, but I do.

"Has he woke up yet?" Rhett asks quietly.

I shake my head no, setting my computer on the floor bedside me.

"I'll go get food in a few." He tells me, knowing I won't be leaving anytime soon. "Just got off the phone with our lawyer."

"What'd he say?"

"We just need his birth father to sign off on his rights." He looks at Holt adding, "Assuming Holt wants to be adopted."

I follow Rhett's gaze to the sleeping boy beside me. His chest rises and falls steadily, hair a mess on top of his head. There isn't any tension in his body and even though I hate how we got here, I'm thankful his body is getting this opportunity.

My hand finds my stomach, to the little baby growing inside and how I'll never let what happened to Holt happen to them. That from this point on I want Holt to experience only kindness and love, just like our baby will.

"Kendra." Rhett draws my attention back to him. He looks sad and worn as his eyes meet mine. "Just prepare yourself for anything."

I'm not exactly sure if he's referring to the pregnancy or Holt. But I know either way I'm going to fight for them both. I'll do anything I have to.

"I will." I say only to give him some reassurance.

"Coach has been texting us, have you read any of it?" He asks.

I haven't. I haven't been texting or calling anyone.

Rhett lets out a sigh, leaning against the wall that's nearby. "Apparently that kid Ian tried to start something during practice today and Holt decked him in the face."

"He did what?" I almost shout because I can't believe it.

I know about the cop, the reason Holt went to juvy, the reason the social worker almost didn't call us. They didn't think we'd want to take a high risk, problematic foster kid straight from juvy. But they didn't have any options.

Rhett's head bobs. "Said he's got a pretty good right hook."

I roll my eyes, the first bit of laughter bubbling inside of me at the praise that lingers in Rhett's voice.

"Maybe we should put him in boxing." He muses. "Teach him to defend himself."

"He apparently already knows how to do that." I say.

Rhett falls silent for a moment before he asks, "does he?".

But I don't know. He must a little. There's evidence of it. But there's also a lot of incidents that suggests otherwise.

"Coach asked if we would keep him posted." Rhett shoves himself off the wall, walking toward me.

"Yeah, we can do that." I agree, craning my neck to look up at Rhett's towering frame as he stands beside me.

"Do you think he's going to be mad at us?" He asks. "For bringing him here?"

I know what Rhett's thinking. That this may push Holt even farther from us. I've wondered too.

I don't have an answer, all I can do is give him a soft knowing smile, one that understands and empathizes with him.

"I love you." I tell him.

"I love you too." He gives me a quick kiss before righting himself once more. "I'll go get some food. Let me know if he wakes up."

I agree, watching Rhett leave until I hear the click of the door shutting. Leaning over the side of the bed, I gently raise my hand to run my fingers through his dark hair. Brushing all the wild strands away from his face.

My hearts at peace for just a moment as I get to care for Holt in this motherly way, hoping that somehow this moment registers in his sleeping mind. That his subconscious realizes that not all touch is bad. Not all people are bad.

That he's safe.

I'll keep him safe.

                              ———————

I finally laid out the rest of this book and we have 57 chapters. So prepare yourselves.