Benefits

THIRTEEN

Yoongi looks at Hoseok when he reaches his limit now.
He found himself unable to look away anymore.
Hoseok looks so good when he fills Yoongi up.
Yoongi feels like he belongs to Hoseok.
Though he knows he doesn't.
"Fuck, ah, shit Hoseok-"Yoongi was so goddamn close, gripping at the sheets and biting a pillow.
"Baby, god, I l-"
"Don't say it!"Yoongi snapped, coming to his senses when he realised Hoseok was gonna lie again.
He was gonna say he loved him.
He'd been saying it on pure instinct for a week, and he even told Yoongi that it was just instinct.
"Just...just shut up."
The two were quiet apart from Yoongi's moans until they finished, and Hoseok didn't say a word to Yoongi before they slept.
Yoongi couldn't sleep.
What did he do to deserve this?
He was trying to think of every bad thing he's done in his life that would result in life handing him a perfect man then taking the man away from him.
It's not fair.
Yoongi hasn't done anything to deserve this.

Yoongi stopped smiling.
He used to give little smiles even when he was in pain.
He didn't even attempt to smile anymore.
Hoseok always brought his girlfriend whenever their group hung out.
Yoongi stopped showing up to his piano lessons, and he barely ate anymore.
Myra.
That's her name.
Yoongi never cared to learn it before, but he knew it now.
Myra was sweet.
She's nice, loving, and she cares about everyone.
She's nothing like Yoongi.
Yoongi can see why Hoseok loves her.
She's just like him.
She doesn't condone drugs though, so Hoseok's doing a great job hiding everything.
He's doing a great job hiding Yoongi.
And Hoseok ended it.
He walked up to Yoongi, and told him he wasn't playing anymore because he had a serious relationship. 
Yoongi was a little hurt, but he knew this was the best thing to do.
He was aware of how these things work.
He just didn't think Hoseok would end it as he would ignore Yoongi when he tried to.
Yoongi smiled when he was asked if he was okay.
He never said yes.
He just smiled.
That doesn't mean he's okay.
Because he's not.
He's numb.
He doesn't know what feelings are anymore.
His feelings don't matter.

As long as Hoseok's happy.