contradictory

twenty

____________________________

millie played with rosie in the large backyard while finn sat on the grass watching the sweet connection between the two. millie's laughs were loud as she ran around with rosie playing what seemed to be tag. eventually her lungs burned and rosie craved water. she trotted over to her water bowl and buried her face in it making a mess on the deck. millie dragged her feet over to finn who sat with a smile before she collapsed next to him and sprawled out on the grass.

"i don't think i'm cut out for the whole running scene," she panted. "i'm just not made for it."

finn laughed and laid next to her. rosie soon joined them and took her afternoon nap with her typical loud snores. the transition from summer to autumn began to set in as the leaves transformed and the wind chilled.

millie loved autumn and everything that came with it. the cold air soothed her, and the drowsiness of nature intrigued her as it would set up for winter. but no matter how much millie loved the season, she knew it would never be the same after finn's departure because she would be reminded of the bone chilling loneliness he left her with.

finn wanted the warm summer to last forever if it meant he could remain with millie. he knew their time was limited and enjoyed every minute they spent together because millie planted seeds within him that had blossomed over the six months they had with each other. as much as he wanted to stay, he knew he couldn't. he had wanted to travel for so long, and to disregard that desire completely would be foolish. finn had to consider himself before anyone else in the situation at hand, and millie would do the same.

"finn?" someone shouted over the fence. the new york's accent perked up millie's ears because she had recently read a book about new uork. "finn, are you back there? we can hear you, and don't think you can get rid of us"

"caleb?" finn stood up and walked to the fence to unlock it. him and his fiancé were embraced by finn happily. "what are you guys doing here?"

caleb ignored his question when he saw millie standing there with rosie laying at her feet with an unamused look upon her face. "you must be millie. i'm caleb," he smiled brightly and shook her hand warmly before his fiancé introduced herself and did the same.

"it's nice to meet you both," millie said.

finn placed his arm around millie as he led all of them into his house. he got all of them drinks and offered to whip up some snack, but they declined. "so, what's been going on with you two?"

"well, we've sort of pushed wedding planning to the back which was quite stupid of us since there's so much to do," sadie sighed.

"she's stressed about the planning, but i've told her not to worry because it will all work out. we could get married in front of a market and i wouldn't care," caleb brushed off.

"finn, please talk some sense into him. there's three months and all we've done is set the date and book the venue! there's so much more to do," sadie rambled in worry. "oh! but we stopped by because we have photos of potential tuxedos for you and the rest of the groomsmen to wear and we wanted you to choose since you're the best man and everything."

sadie pulled out a folder from her bag and laid out all of the photos on the table. finn stared at all of the images and realized he didn't know the differences between some of them.

"so, millie, how did finn manage to reel you in? he's quite bland," caleb teased.

"hey!" finn whined. "babe, which tux do you think would look best?"

millie leaned over the table and stared at the multiple photos before pointing at one specific one. "i think this one would look good on everybody."

"i knew i would love her!" sadie cheered. "i was hoping finn would pick that one so i wouldn't have to deal with the clash in the color palette i have in mind. millie, you are truly my hero."

millie laughed and began listening to sadie about her plans and ideas. they didn't even realize when caleb and finn had wandered into another room.

"so, you're leaving at the end of the year?" caleb asked.

"yeah, i am." finn sighed. when he acknowledged the fact that he would be gone in four months, it hurt him.

"millie knows?"

"yeah."

"it's a shame you two didn't meet a few years in the future," caleb smiles sadly. he was right. it would have made everything easier if they had met in that meadow in a couple of years, but life doesn't give you easy. life gives you difficult, agonizing, and testing.

caleb could see his much his best friend loved the girl in the other room, and it hurt so much more to see the predicament in front of his eyes because he could only partially understand it. He understood that immense love for someone else, but he didn't understand that timer in the background waiting to go off and call it. caleb understood finn's decision to go, but he didn't understand the feeling of being torn yet so certain. he wished he could give his best friend a few words to help him realize that maybe their love is stronger than the ocean currents that will be between them.

"well, i expect to see her at the wedding with you, and i expect a poetic, heartfelt speech. maybe even get me to cry, finnlard." caleb tried to lighten the mood.

"will do, man. you were always an easy crier, so i think my job will be fairly easy," finn teases.

caleb and sadie left an hour later and left millie and finn to decide on making dinner or ordering something. they chosen to order something and spend the rest of the evening in bed.

caleb had somehow gotten the timer to tick louder in finn's mind, and millie always knew it was there, but it didn't bother her.

millie could accept a lot, it was just unfortunate that the trait was only temporary.

_____