contradictory

thirty three

____________________________

it was a new year, a fresh start in most people's eyes. although it was just another day on the calendar that had significance forced upon it, millie took the concept of a clean slate seriously for the first time in a while. it had been eight months since kenneth's passing, and millie had bad days like everyone else.

the first of january just happened to be one of those days. waking up from a dream where kenneth was alive and healthy with chubby little limbs and a loud giggle to float through the air , pained millie's chest more than she thought was possible.

she stirred in finn's arms which woke him up. he heard her mumbled kenneth's name, and he knew it would be one of those days. he gently shushed her and kissed her head to wake her up where she would have tears already falling. there was no work for them that day which turned out to be a good thing. millie closed the cafe so everyone could visit their families, and finn's father took his mother on a vacation that was not related to business.

his parents had bugged finn to bring millie over for dinner , but with no official title he knew his parents might not understand. he had plans in the works, he just hoped it would all go smoothly. the very few kisses they shared fueled the hope for him.

"i haven't had a dream in a while, i thought they were over," millie sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed after releasing herself from finn's embrace. "it kind of feels like a sick joke my brain is playing on me."

finn hated the pain millie still experienced and wished he could take it all away, but he couldn't.

"do you want to start seeing your therapist again?" he asked carefully.

"no, i can manage," she smiled at him and felt slightly better just seeing his messy hair and tired eyes that he seemed to work so well. "f-finn?"

he heard the small stutter and furrowed his brows together. "what's up?"

"you should move in, like officially," millie  could barely look him in eyes, too afraid of the possibility of rejection. "i mean, only if that's what you would want, i just- i don't know, it was suggestion."

to mess with her a bit he wore a look of concentration and deep thought. "well shit millie. that kind of messes with what i wanted to talk to you about."

"w-what is it?" she felt worry fill her chest.

"oh, nothing. just going to ask you if you wanted to have the honor of being my girlfriend," he shrugged and got off of the bed to tease her. she was in shock and followed after him.

"finn! why would you act so serious! i thought something was wrong," she huffed and shot glares at his back while he searched through the refrigerator.

"nothing could be wrong," he chuckled at her. "unless you were to reject my proposal!" he quickly added.

"hmmm," millie felt it was her turn to have a go at messing with him. "i don't know. i think you could do a little more to woo me."

she started to make her way out of the kitchen, but finn wasn't having it. he got a hold of her and pulled her close to him by her waist. "i wrote you love letters everyday for nearly three years, but if you insist. sweet little sunshine, i love you and am very keen on the idea of you being my sunshine eternally. would you please be my girlfriend and grant me that overwhelming joy?"

her laugh was loud as she threw her head back. "you're so cheesy, it's unreal."

"millie, it's a yes or no question, not an opportunity to tease my poetic way with words," he pouted.