contradictory

thirty two

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millie went and saw a therapist once a week for the next month. it not only helped her in finding some sort of peace to heal, but it also helped her family to know that her spirit had a chance of being restored.

she didn't like it at first, and she told finn that she couldn't go through with it because of everything her therapist dug up. he took her to every appointment and waited in the lobby , and despite her complaints about the first few sessions he convinced her to continue and give it a real chance. he began to see improvement in her, and although she would never be the same millie , he saw old parts of her.

he had a job waiting for him with his parents, and he needed it. he felt it was time to be supporting himself and grow up. finn learned as he went and soon took his mother's place as she resigned and gave her son a chance. although he had spent an awful lot of his time with millie, his relationship with his parents was better. running the cafe was simple for millie since she had seen david do it for so many years before, and she also was getting back into the swing of things.

the reunion between Rosie and millie was the most heartwarming of all. the pup was so excited to see millie after all those years, and millie felt the same. she gained a little bit of weight, but millie still thought she looked perfect.

it was three months after kenneth's death when millie stopped crying every night. yes, therapy helped, and yes, picking up her life and staying busy also contributed to the halt of teras. however, it was the slow realization of self fulfillment within herself that eased her shattered heart. she hadn't gone into his nursery since that night, and she never thought she would be ready. she was taking it one day at a time.

millie had given finn a key to her house since he always found himself there after work, and sometimes she wouldn't be home to open the door. it was a saturday night and millie sat on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn and a scary movie when finn showed up at her house.

she didn't hear him come in or his footsteps into the living room. "millie?"

she jumped and the popcorn flew everywhere. "jesus, finn!"

he laughed at her and helped her clean up the mess of scattered popcorn on the floor. finn had always loved that glow that radiated from millie, and when he first returned it was completely gone, but there he was staring at the frantic girl with wild hair and popcorn all over her floor seeing the glow he had missed so dearly.

finn had his sunshine back, even if she was still a little dim. he still loved her, and he never stopped. being back with her and seeing her strength and being with her through her progress reaffirmed his love for the girl who adored books and knowledge.

"finn?" she saw him zoned out. "finn?"

when he realized she was trying to get his attention he realized that all of the popcorn had been picked up and she was sitting on the sofa again while he was still on the floor.

"i went out to eat with grace, so i don't have any dinner made. i can make you a grilled cheese really quick," millie offered and paused the movie.

"that would be great, darling," he hummed and followed her to the kitchen. he watched her as she glides across the tile and hummed while she flipped the sandwich over. he was in complete awe of millie.

he had never met anyone with the strength of millie. the steadiness of her soul was admirable, and to see her pick herself back up was astonishing. no one could compare to millie, and finn was madly in love with her. 

the smile she wore when she gave the plate to finn didn't quite reflect his love, but a lot was taken out of her, and maybe that love was part of it. perhaps if millie had taken more time to mourn the loss of her child she could possibly be the same millie that finn left behind years ago. but finn didn't care that millie had changed, he couldn't blame her. he would have been worried if she was the same. and although her smile couldn't reflect finn's love entirely, it was still there.

when midnight rolled around, finn kissed her head with their legs tangled together and fingers intertwined. even though their interactions tended to be not so casual, it was casual. it was comfortable, and gratifying to the two souls. their actions and words were laced with a deeply rooted love, finn's love deeper than millie's, that could not be ignored. it was the most pure bond to be witnessed, and would be everlasting.

they were finn and millie, lovers of the meadow. looking back on how they met, it was really fate. the fact that millie had a book about art techniques the day she would meet a boy who turned her into art time and time again. it was all fate.

finn's fingers gently traced patterns on millie's arms while she softly snored. he thought about his life since he met millie. he thought about how absolutely euphoric it all seemed. to love millie was a blessing in itself because knowing her was like tripping over the cracks in the pavement, but always being caught by the soft breeze.

she stirred a bit and sensed that finn wasn't sleeping. she wrapped her arms around his torso and sighed in contentment. "why can't you sleep?"

"just thinking," he hummed. he wasn't sure if he should be completely honest about what was on his mind.

"about?" she wanted to coax his thoughts out into the air.

"i don't know, it's not important," he brushed it off. he brushed off his thoughts which might have been the worst thing he could have possibly done because finn and millie always pushed their feelings to the side to be dealt with later.

he should have said it all right then. he should have told her that meeting her was one of the best things that could have happened to him. he should have talked about the fact that he loved her deeply in every way possible. finn should have told millie that he never wanted to be without her because he would not be able to handle the thought of her being with another who had the ability to hurt her.

but he brushed those thoughts away because the two of them pushed their feelings to the side to be dealt with later.

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