Always In My Heart (Sequel To Love Hurts)

Chapter 27

"Zee.." Harry whispered on his neck, Zayn had his back turned on him. "Can you eat something for me, please?"

Zayn shook his head moving away from him, "can you at least eat for the baby's sake?"

"Don't.." Zayn mumbled quietly taking Harry's hand off his stomach.

"Please baby. You've been sick five times this morning. I'll make whatever you want, toast is good for sickness right?"

"M'not hungry.."

"I know Zee, but you've got to eat please or drink something. If you don't want to go back to hospital, then eat. I will make that call to Nick if you don't eat.."

"I hate you" Zayn said crying,

"Join the club. My kids hate me too, why not my husband to finish the circle huh. I know what this baby means to you,  eat for her.." Harry said putting his hand on Zayn's stomach again, "your morning sickness choose a horrible time to resurface but I beg you. When you don't eat you crave from that, Trisha said to push you. And, I'm here doing the pushing, you can push back but I won't let on. This house is not functioning without you, at least come out so the kids can see you up they're miserable without you, I'm miserable seeing you like this.."

Zayn repeatedly shook his head, tears rolling down, "I can't go out there when I see her in everything they do. I can't break down infront of them.."

"What's wrong with being vulnerable? It's okay not to be okay, let us in, Zee. You've been down this road, don't go back. I'm here with you, I won't let you" Harry rolled him onto his back as Zayn fought him off crying, "I won't let you"

It hurts having Amelia taken so harshly from him. It hurts seeing his children hurt. It hurts he can't fight the clouds above his head. It's been three days and he can't hold anything down, he's sick of trying. How can he be so attached to something he's had for only a week. Amelia is more than something though. She lost her mother and will never know her father, Zayn needs to pull through and be there for her, but how. When not having her, hurts. He wished Gemma didn't put this on him. God knows why she did what she did, "It hurts, Haz" he said as Harry moved them so Zayn was lying on top of him and wrapped him in a hug.

"And I'm sorry you're hurting but let the kids in, please. I know our dogs are warm and cuddly but they're not Mase and Elijah no one gives good hugs like Mase, not even me"

"M'sorry.." Zayn said through tears,

"Don't be, you're allowed to feel as you do, but don't let it drag you down. The kids miss her as much as you do and I miss her too. I'll talk to mom and will work something, okay?"

"It won't change anything, she's not here"

"I know she's not here, but your rest of your kids are. Can you be a father to them if you can't be for Amelia? They need you too. Yazz has closed herself in her room.." Zayn frowned, "you and her had always been one person, she feels your pain"

"Can I have fruit salad with just banana and watermelon?"

"Do you want me to bring it here or you coming?"

"I'm coming out..I'll just brush my teeth" Zayn said sitting up, "thanks" he said when Harry helped him stand up he was feeling dizzy, maybe eating was a good idea.

"Will you be okay?" Zayn nodded when Harry asked, "shout if you need help"

Zayn looked at his reflection in the mirror, his hair was a mess and his beard grown a lot in three days, it wasn't bad but he preferred it trimmed and neat. He didn't need to brush his teeth he just wanted a minute to gather himself before showing his face to the world. So he shaved his beard off and wore a hairband to get the hair off his face. He wished Louis had stayed for few days but he's back home, he's got a daughter to look after. Liam went with him, he hadn't noticed they came together in the first place. Maybe he'll ask Louis about that, another time. He looked at himself one more time before deciding to check on Yazz. His mom had called him day before and said Amelia was crying her heart out and it was breaking her heart. Anne was being stubborn not letting Zayn see Amelia, but his mom was right when she said they need to find a common ground and fix this. Amelia always calmed down around the kids, if he can't see her maybe they can. He knocked and opened the door to Yazz's room, she was still asleep. Or pretending to be as she moved giving him space when he sat on the bed.