Always In My Heart (Sequel To Love Hurts)

Chapter 40

"I don't know.." Niall said biting his lip. "It's not what I'm looking for.."

They were talking about Brooklyn. It's been a month they've been dating.

"He's not what you're looking for, you mean.." Zayn said hands on his cup of coffee, it was warming him up nicely not that he was cold but it was soothing.

"Something like that." Niall said then smiled, "I can't deny he's cute."

"Even if he wasn't he would still want you to call him cute.." Zayn chuckled.

Niall chuckled too, "I know..but_" he shrugged.

Zayn raised a brow. "But what?"

Niall shrugged again. "He's not the one.."

"Can he be your right now till the one comes along?"

Niall frowned, "I can't do that to him.."

"Can't do what? Cutting your sugar daddy ties with a young strong man who doesn't want a relationship but someone to provide for him?" Zayn said in a sarcastic tone. "I'm sure he'll be devastated, Niall."

Niall frowned for deeper, "You think I should not end it with him?"

"I think you should do whatever you want.." Zayn shrugged, "Can I ask a personal question though? You don't have to answer if you don't want alright."

"Alright." Niall nodded, "Fire away.."

"Have you been intimate with him?" Zayn asked.

Niall shook his head no. "We've been kissing and doing other stuff but not gone all the way."

Zayn regarded him for a minute. "Is it him or you?"

Niall was frowning deep again, "What do you mean?"

"Is Brooklyn refusing to go all the way or are you stopping yourself going all the way?"

Niall's face went red as he blushed hard, "It's all me." He admitted then chuckled nervously. "Thankfully Brooklyn is understanding.."

"Perhaps he's getting it somewhere else of course he's understanding.." Zayn frowned weighing the next question, "Can I ask? Is the a reason you can't go all the way because it's your first time with a man? If it is, and you like Brooklyn, you should tell him that. I'm not saying your relationship should be based on sex, but I'm sure Brooklyn will be more than happy to show you. You know_stuff."

Niall smiled, "Brooklyn did say that but, I don't want to be his little project you know. I would like to do things myself, do my own research and stuff.."

"Fair enough." Zayn nodded, "How about Harry?"

"Umm? What about him?"

"Harry's your best friend, Niall." Zayn smiled at him, "Why don't you ask him stuff?"

"You're my best friend too, why can't I ask you stuff?"

"Because Harry won't appreciate that. And you know why." Zayn sat up with his leg tucked under him, "first and foremost you're my confidante. You've helped me out of sticky situations and I trust you with my life. But we are adults here and I know you feel something but it can't happen okay.."

"..I know.." Niall had that longing in his eyes again.

Zayn had to look at his coffee because it's not fair to return that look to Niall. "You can't ask me about sex when you're looking at me like that." he looked up from his coffee, "Ask Harry, Louis or Liam.."

"What if I want to know from your point of view, as a_you know?" Niall asked.

"A bottom?"

"Yeah.." Niall rubbed the back of his neck..