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Verena had given me cards to read. I was on stage in District 12, my hands shaking as I hold the cards. I finally found out the name of the female tribute from 12 - her name was Aloe. She has her father and who I assume to be her brother standing for her, and I know that I had left them in a place that my father feared the most. They don't look angry; they look numb. The speech on the cards is so fake that it hurts me to read, but I have to listen to Verena. It's being televised, which makes it worse. I sincerely apologize for their losses as I walk off stage, and into the Justice Building. Finnick grabs my hand, squeezing it. "It's okay you can make it through this." He tells me. Maybe I'd feel less on edge in District 11, knowing that neither of the tributes had died by my hands. Still, I had to face the population of 5 and 7, and I had a feeling they wouldn't be kind. The career packs were going to be rough, but I dreaded going to District 3. I've memorized her siblings names; I think about them daily. Her twin brother is alone now, and I can't think of anything worse.
***
Verena and Affron practically have to push me outside when it's time for me to go on stage in 7. I have the cards in my hands, but I know the district won't care what I have to say. My shaky breaths echo through the microphone as bring the cards closer to my face.
"I'm here today to pay respects to Willow," I start, only having learned her name minutes ago. Knowing the names made it personal, and I could feel the guilt bubbling inside of me. "a tribute that showed amazing skill, and-" I'm cut off by her mother screaming at me.
"That's bullshit! You killed my daughter!" She screams. My head hangs low, and I can still hear the sound of the ax meeting her skull in my mind. I bite my lip, not wanting to cry in front of everyone. Literally; I was airing live. "I'm sorry." I say quietly into the microphone, and I let the mayor guide me back into the building. Mags pulls me into a hug, and I feel a little calmer.
***
"Blaze and I never got along. I hated him for most of my life, but in his heart, he wasn't a bad person. He had a rough life, and he lashed out on other people because of it." As Blaze was from my district, Verena was allowing me to go a little off script. Finnick and Mags are on stage with me.
"I never thought I would cry over Blaze Keenwood, but when he stumbled towards us, my hatred went away, and I saw a scared kid; not wanting to be alone as he took his last breaths. His family is gone, I have no one to pay respect to, so I will say this; I won't let your memory be tarnished because of your father. In your last few moments, I saw the real you, and I won't forget it. Blaze will be remembered, always." I finish my speech, and a few people clap, the others don't know what to do. I'm sure most of them wanted him to win and not me, so it's disappointing for them. I see my family in the crowd, and my father gives me a sympathetic smile.
***
I was already having a panic attack by the time they told me to go on stage in District 3. My legs were shaking as I made my way towards the microphone. I look out at the crowd, seeing Azure's family standing on the large podium, with Azure's face plastered behind them.
"Today I am here...here to pay my respects to..." I see Azure's face, and know I can't read the bullshit that's written on them. The cards fall from my hands, and fall to the ground. I suspect Verena is throwing a fit, but I don't care.
"The truth is, I never met Link. I saw him training once, but that was it. I'm sure he was a wonderful child, and I am so sorry for your loss, Azure was devastated. Azure was..." I make eye contact with her parents.
"my friend. Azure was my best friend." I breathe out, tears welling in my eyes. I stare at Azure's family.
"She was innocent, kind, smart, and despite what the other victors said, she was brave. She saved my life. I think about her everyday, and the family she leaves behind. Volta, Crystal, Candela, Tilsee, Newt, Cyber, and Thatcher; I saw her face light up when she talked of you." I continue. I think I can tell which one is Newt, and he's barely keeping himself standing.
"I tried to protect her, I did. She was there for me every time I was in trouble, but...but the one time I left..." I trail off. "Her legacy will stay with me until the day I die." I say, putting my hand on my chest. One by one, the crowd copies my actions, putting their hands on their chests. Even Azure's family. Her father mouths 'thank you', and I can't say anything else, because I'm being pulled back by a peacekeeper.
He pulls me inside the building, and hits my face with the back of his gun, causing me to fall to the ground. "Should've stuck to the cards. Snow will not be pleased." He says, walking away. Finnick rushes towards me, cupping my face, but I wave it off, and tell him I'm fine.
***
I am at Snow's mansion a few days later; the large bruise on my face covered by makeup. When it's time to dance, Finnick doesn't hesitate to grab my hand and slow dance. Finnick is tapped on the shoulder by a man who wants to dance with me. I recognize him as one of District 3's victors. "I'll be with Mags." Finnick says, smiling.
"What you did for Azure, my whole district is thankful. Your speech was unlike any we've heard before. You have support from 3, whenever you may need it. As you said, Azure was brave, despite the common thought. I just thought you should know." He tells me, and I thank him. I would've thought that her family blamed me for her death. He nods at me before leaving me by myself. I look around for Finnick, but I don't see him. I see different victors, such as Haymitch Abbernathy from 12. He's stumbling over, drunk, but no one seems to care. I think about walking over there to talk to him, but I'm interrupted by Snow.
He's saying how strong I am, how the Capitol loves me, but I can tell he's lying. It's only when the fireworks go off that he looks at me, an intense glare on his face. I swallow harshly, thinking about what the peacekeeper had said.
