Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
______________
I'm pacing back and forth in the living room when my family gets back. My father pulls me into a hug, and Marina comments that he smells bad. Noticing that I was holding onto him for dear life, he pulls away and furrows his eyebrows. "Lia, are you alright?" He asks, and I force myself not to cry as I nod. "I'm fine, dad. Uh, Mags and I made some pie. She told me to take it home." I point towards the counter. "I got a few things for you guys at the market." I fake a smile.
"I have to say, Mags's cooking skills are the best I've ever seen." Uncle Fletcher says, cutting himself and Marina a slice of pie. I laugh softly, trying to figure out how I'm going to tell them this.
"Do you want a plate, Lia?" My dad asks, and I tell him that I ate a lot at Mags.
When they're almost done with their plates, I stand up, nervously digging my nails into my palms. Just in case Snow didn't trust me to tell my lie confidentially, he had it written down on a formal piece of paper.
"I have to go back to the Capitol. Tonight." I blurt out, sighing deeply. "What?" My father asks. I grab the envelope from the pocket in my cardigan, and hand it to him. He's looking at me with confusion written over his face as he opens the letter.
"Coralia Underfell has been requested back at the Capitol for confidential research and questioning. It is yet to be determined when Underfell shall arrive back home, but it will most likely be around two weeks. Train leaves at midnight, tonight, and Underfell is to be unaccompanied during this trip. President Snow." My dad reads, and I can see my sister's eyes flood with tears. "Lia, your birthday is in three days."
"I know, I know...I promise we can do whatever you want when I get back. Like it said, just a couple of weeks, right? I'll be fine. I'm not in the arena anymore." That's a lie. I would be in that arena my whole life. Between mentoring every year, and the constant memories of what happened - I'll never get out.
"This is bullshit! He already has all the information he needs on you.He's the president. He's good for nothing. I'm sure you can find a way out of this." If I do, you'll die. I shake my head towards my uncle, not letting myself cry.
"It's going to be okay." I tell them.
***
Saying goodbye to them had taken everything out of me. The train ride had consisted of me crying in my chambers, and having no one around to calm me down when I would have a nightmare. When I'd arrived in the Capitol, I had been ushered to see President Snow again. I had gone to the highest paying costumer, and taken to a hotel room.
I felt unclean, and no matter how many showers I took, it didn't wash away. I was roaming the hallways of the hotel, dazed and afraid. I'd been here for two days, now; tomorrow was my birthday. A boy with fluffy blonde hair walking down the hall caught my attention.
"Finnick? Finnick!" His head whips around, and he shakes his head when he sees me. I run towards him, and he throws his arms around me, crying into my shoulder. He's holding on for dear life, and it all makes sense now. Why Finnick had to be in the Capitol every few weeks. Why he came home frowning.
"Finnick?" My voice cracks.
"I feel useless. All I want to do is protect you, but there's nothing I can do. He'd kill them all if we tried anything. This isn't fair. It's not fair." His crying had turned into anger; he clenched his jaw, and his breathing got heavier.
"I wish the world was only us. No Capitol, no Games, no districts. Just family." I say, wiping my tears.
"One day it will be. I'll get you out of this. Not today, not tomorrow, but I'll get us both out of this." He tells me, and I grab his hand, squeezing it tightly.
***
I was staying in Finnick's hotel room, but was unable to sleep. As the clock hit midnight, I chuckled bitterly. "Happy Birthday to me." I whisper. At home, we would always have the best time we could on my birthday. Dad would let me pick what I wanted to do for the day, but one thing remained the same every year. We stuff our mouths with cake right at midnight. It was a simple tradition, but it meant the world to me.
"I know it doesn't mean much, but Happy Birthday. Cora." Finnick whispers, and I grab his hand. I knew I would need to get back to my room soon, there was a married woman meeting me in my room in just a couple of hours.
"Finnick, how many times have you done this?"
"Too many times to count." He says sadly.
"Does it ever get any easier?" I ask, and he shakes his head. I bite my lip, trying to hold back tears. I was scared, traumatized, and angry. I wanted Snow to drop dead, and never be heard of again. I wanted him to go in the arena and fight till the death. The games had changed me; I'd never wished ill on anyone. I had a few nasty thoughts about Blaze, but I wanted to kill President Snow. Before the Games, I couldn't have even pictured that. I'm not who I was anymore - I had taken five lives. Five kids who had a home and a family. I didn't like this version of myself. I thought about my family, and how guilty I felt. I was a burden. Not just to them, but to Finnick and Mags, too.
I came to a decision that when I got home, I was going to tell my family everything, besides the trips to the Capitol. I was going to tell them what I attempted, and I'm going to answer their questions. Bottling it up inside wasn't doing me any favors.
