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I'm restless in my bed the night before they go into the arena. I know that they're the ones in the Games, but it's pulling me back into the arena. I think of Finnick, who is on the other side of the wall. I realize that I had been paying so much attention to myself that I never saw just how kind Finnick was. He did everything to make sure I survived. He'd helped me in more ways than I can imagine. I remember the taste of his lips, and how safe I had felt when he kissed me. I shrug a cardigan over my shoulders, and make my way towards Finnick's room, knocking on the door.
Finnick's in sweatpants and a white shirt; simple, but he still looks sexy. I was never one to use that word often, but Finnick deserved the title. "Can I come in?" I ask, and he nods, pulling me inside and shutting the door.
"Nightmare?"
"Not yet. I just kept thinking about something..." I mutter, and he puts his hand on my face, pushing my hair out of the way. "You can tell me, Cora." It's not something I want to tell him, it's something I want to try. So I stand on my tip toes, and kiss him for the second time. He smiles against it, and I can't take my eyes off of his as we pulled away.
"I just wanted to see if I was imagining what's there, but I'm not. You kissed me last year, and I never did anything about it because I was convinced I was going to die. When we got home, I only thought about myself. I didn't even thank you for training me, keeping me alive, being my friend...and when you kissed me, I just wanted to stay there forever. But I never did anything. I wanted to do something." I explain. We're both sitting on his bed now, and he's holding my hand.
"You needed time to heal, Cora. No one was judging you for that. You are the one who means the most to me. I...I love you." I smile widely, feeling tears fall down my face; but for the first time, they're tears of joy.
"You are the most important to me, too, and I'm going to start acting like it, because I know I haven't been. I payed you back with trying to drown myself in the ocean. I love you, too, Finnick. I'm sorry it took me this long to see."
***
It's been three days since the 67th Hunger Games have started, and I'm on edge. Both of our tributes were still alive; in fact, they were protecting each other. I kept glancing at Finnick, and then to the screen. I liked both tributes, but Evanora had to win. I owe her that much. I don't notice that I'm digging my nails into my palms until Finnick stops me, by grabbing both of my hands.
"They've become like siblings. The thought of only one coming..." Finnick stops himself. We're watching the game with many Capitol residents, and some victors, too. Beetee's the only one I'm familiar with. Of course, I've heard all of their names before, but he was the only one I'd spoken to. Watching them is bringing me back into the arena, them reminding me of my alliance with Azure. We watch as tributes get slaughtered for hours, and Finnick holds me closely. A few nights ago we had decided not to put a label on us, because that was all the Capitol ever did.
I was about to introduce myself to the winner of the second Quarter Quell, when I saw Ash and Evanora on the screen. It looked like she was struggling to breathe. An asthma attack? As she falls to the ground, and Ash does everything he can, I find myself running to Capitol residents to see if I can get a fourth parachute for the two. So far, I had managed to get them some bread from 3, thanks to Beetee, some water, and medicine for Evanora's allergies. She had been doing so well. The arena was what could be described as a post-apocalypse type of town, and Evanora had been climbing buildings, and hopping around as fast as she could. Of course, she had to slow down a little, because Ash couldn't move like her. They'd only killed one person so far; the girl from 9 who had attacked them.
I'm struggling to get a sponsor while watching Evanora's face turn blue, when finally, an elderly man says he'll pay for it. "Thank you, Sir. Thank you." I tell him, looking back at the screen. Ash grabs for the silver parachute, turning his back to Evanora for merely a second, but by the time he gets the inhaler out, she had already taken her last breath. I failed her. Her death, and her father's death were on my hands. Finnick pulls me into a tight hug, letting me cry.
"It's my fault, Finnick, it's my fault." I whisper with wide eyes.
"There's nothing you could've done. You trained her well, and got her sponsors, that was all you could do." Finnick whispers, stroking my hair. "If I had seen it sooner..." I sob. He continues to hold me, telling me that it wasn't my fault.
***
The second Ash was stabbed through the chest, I stopped watching. I locked myself in my room, not caring who won. Finnick was taking it pretty hard, also. These were the first tributes he lost. When we return home, I pay off all of Mrs. Farhorn's debts, and tell every marketer that anything she needed was on me. I couldn't deal with the guilt. Finnick and I are required in the Capitol for what seems like every other day; our bodies being sold against our will. I was learning to get used to everything, and plaster a fake smile on my face. It felt like Finnick was the only one I could talk to.
