THE CROSSROAD TO LOVE

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Bella took a shower after Edward left and decided to call it a night. It was already late and she needs to rest for she needed to be early for work tomorrow. She laid herself at the heart shaped bed and remembered Edward. “Why does he have to do all this?” Why can’t she completely open her heart for him?” She whispered to herself as she rolled herself sideways and hugged one of the hotdog pillows beside her. She knows deep inside that she is starting to feel something but she eagerly squashed it as she does not want to fall for him completely. She knows that if she started to give in, she knows that there is no turning back for her. Edward is someone who you can’t live without and she’s sure if things wouldn’t end up right between her and Edward the pain and agony she underwent with Derek would be nothing if Edward would leave her. As early as now she has to guard her heart. “You can’t afford another heartbreak, Bella. You can’t” She whispered to herself as she squeezed her eyes shut and tried to fall asleep. Fifteen minutes had pass and she was still tossing and turning in her bed, every time she closes her eyes she envisioned Edward’s sincere eyes, staring at her. “You are just being caught up by the pretend, Bella.” She assured herself and sighed hard as she gave up feigning sleep and rolled out of the bed. She went out of the room and walked towards the small kitchen, opened the door of the refrigerator and got herself a cold bottle of distilled water. She twisted the cap and sipped a small amount of it. She decided to clear her head and went out of the condo house and into the dark but stunning view of the rooftop. The stars’ light shining above her as it gave her light through the darkness, the lights coming from the nearby establishments giving her additional light. She stood at the foot of the rooftop and gazes her eyes towards the black night sky. She rested her right hand towards the area where her heart is resting and sighed.

“Are you starting to love him, Bella? Are you starting to love him so much that you are afraid to face it becauuse you are still cuddling the pain of your past with Derek that you deny it and avoid the dawning feeling inside you?” She asked herself as she continued to gawk at the night sky.

She did not realize that a lone tear started to spill out from her eyes as she felt so scared of the new realization that don her. She fell for him, she loves him so but she knows she can’t continue with it. She can’t and she has to stop the feeling. “He is your ex’s cousin for god sake, Bella. That reason alone should have warned you but what have you done to yourself you let him open your heart and now look at yourself you are a mess.” She angrily narrated to herself as she wiped the tears in her cheeks. She was stunned when someone spoke from behind her.

“You can’t sleep?” The very familiar voice asked her as she heard his footsteps approaching her. She gingerly dried her eyes and turned her head to him.

“Why are you still here, Edward? You should have gone home.” She whispered to him as her voice trembled at his sight.

Edward did not answer her inquiry. He stood up in front of her and suddenly cuddled her face between his hands and caressed her cheeks with both of his thumb. “I just have to do this, Bella. I don’t think we can’t fight it anymore.” He cryptically whispered to her as he claimed her mouth with so much intense urgency and drive. Bella was not able to fight him; she gave in at the taste of his lips as soon as his lips landed hers. His tongue urging her to open up for him, she closed her eyes and slowly let him enter her mouth as they both deepened the kiss and found her hands encircling his neck. Their tongues where doing their own thing inside her mouth as Edward started to caressed her cheek, his other hand went down to her body and started stroking every part of her. They were both caught up by the moment when Edward suddenly halted it and looked at her in the eye.

“I want you now, Bella. Do you have the heart to let me in?” He gently and softly whispered to her as he rested his forehead to hers. Bella didn’t know if she would run away and turn her back to all this. She opened her eyes and dared to look into his eyes. The love, passion and want she saw in his eyes got the better of her, her mind spinning a thousand folds that made her speechless for a while.