metanoia | alec lightwood

9

"Don't squirm." Robert said to Alec as we were in the infirmary after the attack, Robert fixing up Alec's wound.

"I'm not." Alec scoffs lightly, looking down, "It doesn't even hurt."

My eyes were glued to his wound, staring at every aspect of it.

I didn't like that he took it for me.

Not because I could handle myself.

But, because I didn't like seeing him hurt.

And I didn't like that either.

With Alec, at first I was just messing around with him because I felt myself be attracted to him.

There was just something about him that made me want him. It made me want to be around him as much as I could.

I felt drawn to him, and I'd always find myself softening up when it came to him and being much colder to everyone else.

Whatever this was, I needed to keep in mind that to love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed.

Suddenly, Alec's phone buzzes, making my head snap towards it when he picks up his phone, about to answer Jace's call.

"I'll take it." I grabbed his phone from his hand, stepping back, "He probably has some Clary problem he needs help with and you're not dealing with that right now."

Before he could reply, I turned and walked off and into the hall, answering as Jace's voice immediately filled the line, "Alec, I need you."

"How glad are you to hear Alec's beautiful, feminine voice?" I remarked, placing a hand on my hip as I walked.

Jace realizes that this wasn't Alec, "Zee?"

"Yep." I stopped in the hall and leaned against the wall, "Your problem can wait, there's been an attack at the Institute."

Jace repeats, "An attack?"

"Yeah." I looked down, my vogue quieting down at the thought of it, "My father created a Forsaken that went through the wards."

"That's not possible, Zee." Jace denied, "Nothing can get through the wards, they're warlock spells to defend against all Downworlders."

"Do you think I don't know that? I wouldn't be saying it if it weren't true, you moron." I snipped st him, "This Forsaken had Seelie blood with angel properties."

I exhale deeply and looked down at my feet, pinching the bridge of my nose, deciding to leave myself out of this, "Jace, it went after Hodge and Alec."

"What?" Jace immediately said, "Are they okay? Is Alec-"

"They're banged up, but they'll live- Hodge killed it." I sigh, "It was after The Cup."

"Zee, I'll be there as soon as I can." Jace hang up.

I walked back to the infirmity where Alec sat on the bed alone, his wound now bandaged up, Isabelle and Robert no longer with him.

I don't bother asking him where they went as I handed him his phone, sitting where Isabelle once sat, looking at him, "Why did you do that?"

Alec looks at me, our faces inched apart, making both our voices low, "Do what?"

"Take the hit for me." I swallowed hard, my eyes glued to his, my head tilting to the side lightly.

Alec's answer made something spark in my chest, "He was going to hurt you."

"Just, don't do it again." I exhale deeply, turning my face and leaning my head against his arm, staring ahead, "If anything were to happen to you, I- just, I don't know."