metanoia | alec lightwood

38

"From everything I've heard, my mother suffered in silence alone for years." Jace said to me when we walked into the courtyard, "She never got the help she needed."

"Well, good thing you have me." I crossed my arms when we came to a stop, "I'm not gonna let that happen-"

Jace exhales slow, "I'm- thinking of going to the City of Bones for treatment."

"You want to go for treatment-" I stared at him, "With the Silent Brothers?"

"They have a history of helping Shadowhunters with mental health issues." Jace told me, crossing his arms as well.

I blink, "Well, we don't know if that's what you're going through-"

"There's a family history." Jace pointed out.

"Sure, but- you didn't start feeling this way until I brought you back." I put my hands onto my waist, "There has to be some sort of connection- it can't just be a coincidence-"

"I think it was a trigger-" Jace cut me off, his eyes locked with mine, "For something that's always been there."

"You think- that me bringing you back to life, triggered you losing your mind?" I trailed off, shaking my head, "Okay, Crazy-"

"Look, I can't sit- benched and do nothing." Jace put his hands onto my arms, "If there is even a chance that the Silent Brothers can help, then that's-"

"And if they can't?" I tilt my head to the side lightly while looking at him, "The Clave would seem you unfit for duty and you would be deruned-"

"And what choice do I have?" Jace's voice fell quiet, "I can't live like this."

"Well, here's an insane idea-" I trailed off, then click my tongue, "I could try to talk to the Angel-"

"What? No, it's too dangerous-" Jace immediately denied, "If we summon Raziel, he could destroy us just for bothering him-"

"First of all, there is no we in this-" I gestured between the both of us, "I will be doing this- and, I was thinking Ithuriel- I mean, his blood runs through our veins- and, he's helped me before."

"You are not doing this alone-" Jace wasn't okay with this, "What if he kills you? I am not going to be responsible for your death-"

"And I'm not going to be responsible for what's been going on with you." I shot back at him, "Look, if you're suffering the consequences of being brought back from the dead, then- I'm gonna fix it. If that means summoning and interrogating an angel- I'm gonna do it-"

Jace asks, "And what if he doesn't come?"

"He will." I reacted to the look on his face, "What? I'm Zee Young, everything goes my way-"

"Well, what are you gonna do?" Jace finally gave in, "Are you gonna text him?"

"He prefers email, but, hey- I'll give it a shot." I put my hands on his arms, "Listen- I am going to help you."

Jace gave me just a small nod, before pulling me into his chest, hugging me tight.

-

"Hi there, honey-" I was playful with the pet name, walking into Alec's bedroom, heading over to his bed to grab my leather jacket when I saw him buttoning up his shirt in the mirror, "Just came to grab my jacket-"

Alec doesn't say anything.

"Alec?" I stopped mid grab, looking at his back, dragging his name out, "Alexander?"

"You left me alone in bed this morning-" Alec looked at me through the mirror, "I find that rude-"

I scoff lightly and stood up straight, gaping at him in surprise, "I was in the shower-"