Inning of Love (Complete and being edited)

Dean.

Wake up. Get dressed for school. Attend school. Work. Go home, maybe eat something, and sleep. Repeat.

That is how I have been for the past couple of weeks and it isn't getting any easier. The only person that I can handle talking to is Dex or my mother and that is about it. Every time I see her walk by me in school, she takes my breath away and I am left gasping for air since she took it out of me and kept walking.

I have never hurt so badly in my life, not once. My chest is sore from all the throbbing inside, the dull ache it brings when I hear her name over the speaker at the softball field echoes into my eardrums. I tried at first to stay away but it is impossible. She is everywhere and at the same time nowhere. Every fucking little thing reminds me of her.

"Ugh. I sound like a fucking pussy." I groan and run my hands over my face and force myself out of my warm bed and drag my feet to the bathroom.

After I shower, brush my teeth, and somewhat make myself look presentable with a white V-neck, brown pants, and my black converse, I make my way out to the kitchen. When I enter the kitchen, I see my mother sifting through her purse.

I reach up to grab the box of Honeycombs and pour myself a bowl of the delicious cereal. I clear my throat to inform my mother of my presence. She looks up with a soft uneasy smile as I sit down at the table, bringing the first bite to my mouth, the crunchy sounds of the cereal blocking out my mother's soft voice.

"I am sorry, mom. What did you say?" I ask after watching her lips move, putting my spoon back in the bowl.

My mom looks at me with wary eyes as she sits down and reaches her small calloused hand over mine and exhales. "I asked how you are. I am so worried about you honey. You've been like on autopilot these past couple weeks, like a zombie almost. Even at the diner, the regulars have noticed the difference in you. I feel like it has gotten worse even after Scarlett quit."

I stare back at my spoon, the dark reflection of myself mirroring back at me. Scarlett quit the diner the very next day after finding out everything, and honestly I don't blame her. She wanted her space and she just had this huge bombshell dropped on her, so I know that she is hurting. But I love her so much that when she is sad, I'm sad. When she is hurt, I am hurt. I hate that she found the truth out after I made love to her, it was literally the worst fucking timing but, I had to tell her. I just wish it happened differently.

Like my mother said, I have been a wreck and that is putting it lightly. I have been one gigantic fucking train wreck. Anger and heartbreak has been the only thing driving me through this dark hole that I have been in.

I shrug my shoulders and get out of my seat, dumping the half empty bowl of cereal down the sink drain. "I'll live mom. I just don't know how to be right now honestly. I have never felt like this. I feel like something inside of me died, and I don't know if it is from having my heart broken for the first time or just the feeling of knowing who my father hurt."