14-No hope

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The days went by fast and soon it was time to go back to London.
Harry was sad. Louis hadn't regained his memory of him and he had lost all hope that he ever would. He couldn't do this anymore. His heart couldn't take it. He couldn't bear being so close to Louis but at the same time so far away. He loved him so much. He just needed some distance between them so he could breathe.

Louis noticed that something was off with Harry but he figured he was tired. Harry didn't talk much on the ride home and Louis decided to give him a little bit of space. It had been a couple of intense days at his mum's.

When they finally arrived at home Harry turned to him. He didn't meet his eyes.
"I'm going to bed. See you tomorrow."

Louis reached out and grabbed his arm with a frown.
"Haz? What's wrong?"

Harry sighed and dragged a hand through his curls. He briefly met Louis's gaze before he looked away again. There was so much pain in his eyes and Louis unconsciously took a step closer.
"I'm just so tired Lou."

Louis wrinkled his eyebrows. Harry didn't seem to talk about physical tiredness.
"Talk to me."

Harry's eyes teared up and he finally met Louis's eyes.
"It's too hard Lou. I'm mentally exhausted. You are standing right in front of me but I can't have you." His lower lips started to tremble.

Louis reached out again to pull him in for a hug. Harry put his hands up in defense.
"Please don't! I need some distance. I just want to sleep. Okay?"

"Okay." Louis mumbled. His heart felt empty from the rejection. Harry was hurting because of him. It was almost too much to bear. Stupid memory loss! Come on stupid brain! Kick-start! He watched Harry turn around and walk up the stairs and he felt like crying.

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Louis woke up at ten. He hadn't been sleeping well at all. His bed felt empty. He had gotten used to fall asleep on Harry's chest and wake up with him in his arms.

He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and went to take a shower. Fortyfive minutes later he had washed and dressed. He hoped Harry had started to cook breakfast. Louis noticed that Harry's bedroom door was closed but he didn't reflect over it, sure to find Harry in the kitchen.

The kitchen was empty. Was Harry still sleeping? He was usually up early. Well, now Louis could make him breakfast in bed to try and cheer him up. He wasn't making the same mistake again, going out to buy it. That didn't really work out great the last time.

So what were his options? Tea? Toast? Cereals? He hoped that the thought would count. He pulled out a tray and got down to business.

Ten minutes later he managed to balance the tray in one hand while he softly knocked at Harry's bedroom door. No answer. He pushed the door open and peeked inside. Harry was still in bed. He was awake but he was just laying there staring at the wall.

"Hazza? Can I come in? I made you breakfast."

Harry turned his gaze to lazily look at him.
"Why?"

"You always cook breakfast for me. I... I just wanted to cheer you up." Louis answered feeling unsure.

"Oh. Thanks." Harry's voice sounded emotionless and he didn't move.

"Are you okay Harry? You sound off." Louis was giving him a concerned look while he walked up to the bed to put the tray down.

"Mhm. I just need the day to myself. I need to be alone. Today. Okay?" Harry mumbled.

"Yeah, okay... I'll be downstairs. Don't hesitate to call for me if you need anything." Louis answered, backing out of the room.

Harry didn't answer. He just closed his eyes with a sigh. Louis was really worried.

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