Far Away

Diagnostic

TONI POV:

I thought I liked being on tour but it's not the same without Fangs. "Toni." I look at Sweet Pea. "What?" I look at him. "Are you ok?" He ask concerned. "It's not the same without him."  I whisper. "We don't have to do this after the tour." He whispers. "I want to keep playing music. I just can't tour."

"Toni what happened?" Cheryl ask sitting behind me. "I think I need help." I confess. She rubs my back. "What do you mean?" She ask concerned. "Ever since Fangs died." I take a deep breath. "I haven't been the same. I can barely look at a instrument without feeling guilty." I whisper. I stand up. "I just wish I could have helped him!" I hold back tears. "I knew something was up. I could have helped him." I whisper. She walks over to me. "I just need help." I whisper. "I don't want to go back to old habits." She rubs my shoulder I look out the window. "I know." She kisses my shoulder. "I'll help you get to a therapist." I nod. Cheryl rubs my shoulder until my breathing calms down. "Go check on Jason." She whispers. I nod. I go into the connecting room. He's in the room pacing. He's had this habit recently. "Jay." I stop him. I pick him up. "What's wrong?" I ask lying on the bed. He doesn't say anything just breathes heavily. "Deep breaths." I whisper as I rub his back. "It's ok." Cheryl walks in. "Toni..." she looks at me. She lies next to us. Jason reaches his hand over to Cheryl. She kisses my cheek. Jason slowly falls asleep. "I think you're right." I whisper. "I think Jason needs help. We all do. No offense." She smiles. "It's ok." She nods.

"Jason has high functioning autism. Everything is going to be ok if you put the right services in for him." The social worker tells us. I take Cheryl's hand. She nods. "I'll give you guys a second." The social worker gets up and walks out. "Am I allowed to say that I told you so?" She ask looking at me. "Unfortunately." I sigh. "Yeah." Cheryl looks at me. "Are we going to tell him?" She ask quietly. "When he's older." I whisper. "I think we both need time to process." Cheryl gets up. "We should tell him soon." I tell her. "No."